Rough Day--HELL a rough 30 MInutes!!!!

After the "goop" in Moms hair a week or 2 ago things have been relatively quiet but today something was desperately wrong --- he had me take him to his Dads then he refused to get out and go, so we started home. I was telling him I have to do things like the laundry and store whether he's at home or not and I said something to him about going to the movies to see "Sex and the City". All of a sudden he grabbed my arm while I was driving and started flipping out-- I was on Mountain down by Tommy's. Before I got to the Liquor store by Stater Brothers I started to turn left , he opened the damn car door while we were in motion; then he reached for his seat belt and was going to bail out-- I JUST ABOUT HAD A STROKE THERE ON THE SPOT---My heart and brain were racing trying to figure out exactly what to do. I was across the oncoming traffic and a big Stater's truck was coming at me, I hit the drive way and by that time he had his butt turned sideways and his feet starting to dangle out of the car -- there was a car coming at me in the parking lot and a car behind me and all I could do was pull into the closest parking spot and shove the car into park--- I turned off the ignition and I had a hold of his left arm but I was in no postion to pull him completely back into the car so I made the hardest decision in a long time to just LET HIM GO and see what happens ----I said "ok --go ahead and go" I sat there with my hand on my seat belt ready to bolt if he took off but I figured once he got out of the car and took a look around he would do what I thought which was to realize that I was not going to chase him so he had no where to go--he milled around the car and grumbled and growled at me and tried to provoke me but I had made up my mind I was going to sit tight and not react--he started saying "Mommy" and I told him once I was not going to talked to him until he got back in the car--then every time he approached me I just pointed to the passenger seat finally after he made a few passes back and forth from the driver side to the passenger side and he saw he was getting no where about 5 maybe 10 minutes {it felt like forever} he finally crawled back in the car.

By this time there was no way I was going to attempt a trip to the store so I started up the car and said "OK Thank you" I was silent till we hit Hickory

Once we were driving up the street I lit into him and told him he had BETTER NEVER do that to me cuz next time I would shove him out and leave him there to figure out what he had done and how he was going to get home--- I guess it was with a different tone or something but I think he got it---

What a harrowing experience----

You know its moments like that you can never predict and no one except someone who has an Autistic child can really relate too. I have to tell you though these kids have some conscience level of what they are doing but do not fathom the consequences AND when it happens they are on auto-pilot its as if something or someone has taken over their body and they have no control-- Like and extemporaneous muscle-- It functions without thought!

I cannot imagine what it is like in their brains when they have what we in the Autism community refer to as a "meltdown" but I know it has been described as "static" in their heads. That is what creates the Fight or Flight syndrome--- often times motion is the only thing that can satisfy the behavior.

It is moments like these that set ua apart from other parents -- I dont say that in a snobby way or that other parents dont have challenges too its just that its is so "cryptic" that its like unraveling a huge ball of yarn ot putting together a 1000 piece puzzle and so many thoughts and decisoins must be made in a split second that you are always in check with yourself wondering if you made the right drcision .I guess we all do that but its the lack of feedback form our child that is missing -- At least with a typically developing child you will get cussed at or ignored BUT at least they can tell you OUR KIDS CAN'T

AS A POST NOTE TO THIS DAY-- It did not improve for several hours after -- I am still not exactly sure what set the motion of behavior AND may never know I can tell you hoever there were several other challenges later on in the day however I have to admit once this "wave" passes it is like a completely different child . Often times it seems like they dont even recognize the past few hours ITs definitely a preplexing situation and one that will keep you on your toes and always guessing!