"Go with your Gut" mantra

 Recently there was a thread about meds and dosage on one of the Support groups I follow online....a discussion pursued as I sent a post urging the caregiver to consider a lower or slower dosage on a med that as prescribed or recommended. 

Well I ruffled a few feathers, no one was disrespectful but came back with "there is a reason why meds are prescribed the way they are and are calculated on need, weight,and occurance rates either to control,manage  or eliminate a medical issue"...WHICH I completely understand...

In the case of an antibiotic for an infection this makes sense. When we are talking about psycho- pharmaceuticals IMHO that is a different matter all together...not only are most of these anti psychotic drugs for adults,it still remains a guessing games to  what works for who and how it affects each individual.Add to that a large majority of our children do not talk or have language yet are far from able to describe what they are feeling or how something does or does not work for them. So it is our job or duty to decipher (just like having an infant) what we see, what causes reactions and what seems to work ...we are with these kids 24/7 for the most part and we see, feel and know them  better than anyone. A professional is many times "Book Smart" but not "Street Wise". They are good intentioned and are giving us their best knowledge and opinion BUT it is not the "gospel". Yes we must respect their professional knowledge AND we have to respect our own observations and feelings...hence "Go with your GUT"!

When a doctor gives me a script I know almost immediately whether it works or it is givingme trouble....with my child I JUST DONT KNOW!

I would error on the side of less than more especially when trying a new med.....

As a side note I have spoken many time about this but Dak to a med for many years and I was always being encouraged to increase the dose.I was told it couldn't possibly work and the amount was infantesimal with how big he was,I remained vigilant and knew he didn't need any more.What he got worked for him when I eliminated it I saw behavior and when I increased it I saw behavior ...

One last thing about Pharma and especially kids in school I strongly encourage you to restrain from informing those that work with your kids when you try new meds or change doses....it's the Power of suggestion thing.When they don't know,then it cannot become a reason for topic..ie "Oh  I could tell the new meds really made a difference" or "The meds seemed to cause strange behavior"

Another perspective on Mother's Day

In May of 2012 I wrote a small post about Mother's Day .... How moms of kids with Autism may have a very different day than what the typical or expected day would be like for most moms. I also stated that I realize we are not some special group , elite or there are not others who may have something other than what many would consider a cookie cutter description of Mothers Day.

In this post I wanted to address another perspective. Over the course of perhaps the last year or years,through social media I have had the honor of re connecting to many lost, forgotten or out of touch friends from all realms of my life. 3 of these mothers come directly to mind who I have mostly re connected on FaceBook...who have in fact lost their children.

So I wrote about my not so fabulous "chores" that would occur on Mother's Day; all being not my idea of what Mother's Day should or could be...perhaps close to a bitch but at least words of disdain: as I was taking Dak to In-N- Out ....and then later having to prepare what would be our Mother's Day dinner???as the day progressed I began to think about these Moms who no longer have their children and how they must hate this day or at least approach it in a very different way...I wouldn't say it was guilt but more compassion for what I could never say I understood...

I guess what I am getting at is this....one mom lost her son years ago and still misses him everyday, another lost her daughter over a year ago and is struggling with others words and opinions of how they don't have the right to tell her how to mourn and the third mom lost her daughter who died unexpectedly in her sleep just about a month ago and is still reeling from the questions of why....
How do these women , these MOMS celebrate ?

Simply put they cannot.Yes they are still moms, they will always be moms and that should be what it is all about however I am sure in their minds they ask "How can I rejoice, how can I celebrate this day when my heart aches?" I have no clever answer, no quick fix, all I can say is I love you all and I am sorry you don't have your babies anymore...Cry, Pout, Scream and if it's possible try to have a happy memory! 

We all have stuff ....we all have challenges , we all have history and we can't turn off our brains to the bad  or negative. We do have the ability to pick ourselves up by the bootstraps and trudge through life    And try to make the best of the minute, the hour , the day etc...

I am so incredibly sorry these women who lost their babies . I am quite sure there are thousands more that I do not know, my heart goes out to them and for what it's worth Mother's Day is over for this year maybe next year it won't hurt as bad ...but I seriously doubt it....