This is a subject that is very important ..yet quiet touchy.....There have been many discussion and posts on Facebook about how special needs kids just want to be included..to be one of the kids....etc.
This has many facets and opinions on how it should occur. As our "special kids" go thru school there are suggestions, classes and activities to give our kids experience and opportunity to "blend"in the community. Mostly thru the special Ed classes with outings to places like the dollar store or a fast food restaurant,a trip to a fair or perhaps even a movie...HOWEVER; it is not done with typical children for the most part. It is a part of the daily or weekly schedule of the classroom. Ok : I'm happy that our kids are getting exposure and practical experience and hopefully some enjoyment not to mention visability in the community. The biggest issue I have is this JUDGEMENT. We all have seen it and we all have thought it and whether we are parents of challenged kids or mere onlookers of the community : you pull up to a light and you notice a whole "passel of "chicks" with a few adults and it doesn't take but a split second to realize these are not typical kids. Nothing wrong with that BUT there is an immediate judgement. My point is this if the idea is to get these kids to blend in and then you send them out in a clan not with any other kids how can that be (I hate this word) NORMAL?
I understand my man/child is not typical and is challenged and I love all the kids he has had as classmates, "friends"or aqaintances..I also understand that a certain portion of his day or activities should include being with similar kids. The problem is that's all any school, work program or social program offers. I disagree. I do not want to offend any one and I certainly don't want others who have special needs children to think that my child is any better than theirs, my point is that these kids need to be treated as individuals and given opportunity to act and be viewed in a more natural setting. They need to be included as an individual for a birthday party or a bowling trip, to amusement park or a day at the beach! I'll concede that the disability can be challenging , daunting and perhaps overwhelming for a typical person to undertake yet I believe it is possible . The key is to develop relationships that are constant and regular so the comfort level is raised to a point where my kid is "manageable"for someone who may not be sure of themselves.
Again I get it a behavior can scare anyone and especially not knowing how to deal or handle it but the only way someone can learn is to,be around enough to experience it .
As our kids get older and leave school most of their social exposure goes down the tubes. They are not one to talk on the phone or have the need to bond with people and they become more and more isolated.Our job as parents is to everything we can to nurture relationships for our kids...yet there comes a time when you say I gotta cut the apron strings....I am quite sure my kid would love to do something like a movie without his Mom.
There are programs that are specifically for handicapped individuals. In many of the high schools there is what they call a Best Buddy Program which pairs typical kids with special needs for things like assemblies and pep rallies..or special occassions ...there is NO MODEL for after school ends. I've even checked into the Big Brothers and Big Sisters and they don't want typical kids that are over 17.
I guess what this post is about is another frustration I can't seem to solve. Young Adults are busy working , going to school and certainly worried about their appearance and really don't have much care about being "seen"with someone who might compromise their street cred. Sure you can and will have access to vendors who can be paid for being a coach or chaperone but again that's not really solving the problem, not to mention not all of us have the ability to lay out money for that kind of support.it just seems that this should be simpler than it is.
Many years ago a mom and mentor of mine said that if you find someone who is interested in your child and wants to spend time with them you do everything in your power to nurture that relationship;if you have to drive them, buy pizza , pay for movies make the phone calls to keep in touch..whatever it takes because they are rare. I can agree
All I can conclude is that our kids want to be a part of a "normal"life and treated as an individual , just like everyone else. If you find your self with an hour and you want to do something rewarding go find that kid in your neighborhood and take him/her for an Ice Cream or a bike ride..maybe to the local fishing hole...the parents would probably be thrilled but the man/child will be the one to benefit whether he can tell you or not!
