Guilt...

The one thing I have said all along is that Dakota will always have memories and NO ONE can take that away from him...I have a tiny bit of guilt more often than I would like to admit that I could always do more for him.
I do my best but I have always been one to second guess my efforts.. In other words I am my worst critic,,,perhaps that's how all of us are it just seems to be magnified when it comes to a child that literally depends on you for  pretty much everything...
I look around and see many kids some challenged some not and I am always thinking I could do that or should I have done this???? Well so an so did this maybe I will too....On the flip side I also see so many kids that have parents that pretty much don't give a rip...So There is no easy answer...never have been one to follow , always been one to march to the beat of A different drummer  just want my boy to have the best life he can...
I truly believe that you cannot be happy with anyone else until you are happy with yourself AND you cannot compare yourself to anyone else ....It never stops the guilt from creeping in occasionally.

More importantly when my time comes to leave this earth I can only hope that Dakota is happy and filled with memories to last his lifetime AND that somewhere out there there is someone who will carry on taking care of my baby and give him a few more memories .

First Tidbit of the month...

So many times I have witnessed Dakota in a group of peers and his attempts to enter a conversation. Although  the others are caring and compassionate and want to Include him most times than not he gets lost in the shuffle . He will pickup a word or topic that goes floating thru and then make a statement usually unrelated to the general conversation but specific to a word which will either be ignored because no one took the time to realize what he's doing  or  they will wonder why he's talking about that particular word or subject when they have all just discussed it but have already moved on and forgotten ....A N Y W A Y....My point is ( as I have said before many times) it's all happening in that brain even if none of us can DECODE IT... On my Facebook page just today I came to this conclusion 
"Just cuz they DON'T ; doesn't mean they CAN'T!"

April is Autism Awareness Month

Funny how fast the days blend onto weeks and months ...I cannot believe its already time for Autism Awareness Month...Not that it is any different than another ..just gives many of us an excuse or reason to highlight what we know and how we can educate others on autism! Will try to be diligent on posting Lil thoughts most especially this month and imagine that it's already the 8 th...YIKES