In Rememberance of Brad Loula

Brad Loula's Memorial Website
http://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/CoachLoulamemorial/homepage.aspx
 
The Autsim Community suffered a huge loss this week==
My sons best friend  and mentor died at the young age of 46. This was a man who was a rough, gruff, curmudgeon of a man, a football coach and someone who possessed the heart and soul of an angel. By many accounts Brad was not perfect and in fact quite difficult to get along with in the typical world. I saw him on many occassions with very little patience for situations when typical kids or adults acted out or were out of hand. When it came to understanding and caring for Dakota it was as if he could flip a switch to become the best support a kid could ever want and a parent would ever wish for.
I knew when Dakota went with Brad that I had no worries . He would be protected and given his independence -- that was a fine line!
 
Brad and Dakota were "2 Peas in a Pod" and in someways I believe Dakota did as much for Brad as the other way around.
 
My heart aches tonight, my son does not even know yet and I dont know how I will find the words. I know I must tell him because he needs to understand that Brad did not abandon him but that God had a different plan.
 
There arent many out there who had or have this ability Brad possessed. Dakotas world is turned upside down and we are back to square one. I hate "hokey sayings" but in this case I must hope that "when a door shuts, a window will open!"
 

FIRST MONTH TOGETHER 

2001

We will miss you Brad and although you didnt think there was an afterlife I hope that you are finding out right now that I WAS right!

BRADS BIRTHDAY 2008

SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Operational Mannual

Many years ago I attended a program for Dakota where the parental advisor gave us an assignment-----
"I want you to create an "operational mannual" for your son or daughter." "Lets just say that we do not know the future and any one of us could go out and get killed, drop dead or end up in a hospital tommorrow." " Arent your children fragile enough without routine or schedule being disrrupted? If a parent was not there; could it cause your child to end up in a tail spin?"
Why allow their world to fall apart any worse than it would if your were not there?  The assignement was to assemble information about your child so that a perfect stranger could pick up the pieces and TRY  to make your child world  OK without you.

My mannual developed a life of its own and is probably much more than necessary but heres what I tried to do: Paint a picture of my son and his daily weekly and monthly routine.I included Family contacts. support people {ones that were in his life} diagnosis, prescrpitions,medical history and background,Daily routines-- bathing,toileting, eating, bedtime---Eductional back ground including schools and teachers that did well with him and activities he excelled in,certain ways he was at home, what TV shows he likes and activities he did and any special little thing that set him apart from typical. Like the fact that he does not understand how to blow his nose or that he does not swallow pills. Additionally I included 3 or 4 articles about Autism and included network info about different no profits that could offer info,support or help.I also added info about places he liked to go to and how he did in each environment. I put hints in there about things that seem to trigger Dakota and non preferred tasks . 

I guess my point is that every kids world would be turned upside down if their parent wasnt there tommorrow-- but dont we owe it to these kids to have the best support they can get. All this is in your head and unless its is written down NO ONE KNOWS IT! and your child probably cannot express it--

So think about it. Make an "Operational Mannual" and hope you never have to use it---You can even use a your computer and burn it on to a CD-- I utilized a notebook and included pictures and magazine articles plus reference material like pamphelets so that somone has an idea of where to start.