I have been struggling ...
trying to get back into a groove with posting on the BLOG .. So many factors BUT really no excuses - Just circumstances... After coming back from the Disneyland Birthday have had a few weeks of trying situations.
Dynamics of the house and Dakota's routine have been jumbled...He usually spends time with his Pop once a week and lately he has been resistant.. The strange thing is I am seeing this also occur in others functions that are normally no problem. For instance I took him to get his hair cut and he refused to get out of the car. VERY STRANGE. Dakota has always presented challenges in certain situations and I have always chalked it off to his way I saying " I just don't want to do it". However I find myself over and over again analyzing the action wondering if it is more, if it is a deliberate change in routine or even worse and God Forbid an eruption of more severe issues...Like the thing about him refusing to get out of the car I am wondering if it is not a glimmer of 'AGORAPHOBIA"..Then I say to myself "Oh Stop It " you are trying to make it worse than it already is.
Never the less why I titled this Tired is because I have been feeling very tired . Just finding reasons to do things the easy way and skip things that are part of normal everyday life and after a few weeks of this I came to realize that I am not physically tired It is all mental.hahahaha
I mean there are a few lags here and there but it is all the crap that swirls around in your head that just exhausts me...I was thinking its just me getting old, or I have done my fair share for the day BUT NO its not that at all the feeling of being physically tired is directly from the mental gymnastics.
I do not want this it sound like I am whining but parents of "typical" kids just DO NOT KNOW HOW FORTUNATE they are ..The simple fact that those kids get up in the morning and barring bullying, fighting with sibs or other obstacles in the day they can successful get through a day with out assistance from their parents ... From the moment our kids wake up until they lay their heads down at night it is a marathon... AND YOU CANNOT "SCRATCH THE RACE" ..I wore a pedometer for about a week recently and I averaged 10,000 steps without breaking a sweat ...AND that was just around the house trying to accommodate my sons needs for the day-- and I am still fat!!! Hows does that work?
Think the whole point of this post is this... You work and work at caring for your child Everyday can be a new challenges or it can be a day of rigidity and sameness and what transpires is an all out effort to just make the day a little better and a little easier to accept for our kids and when the day is done you have had it You are TIRED ...BUT usually more mentally tired than physically . Bottom line is this you cant give up , and for the most part you are alone and often times wondering how its all going to end up BUT you will never step off the "Hamster Wheel" .
