THE TEACHING TV

Yes my Dakota also get stuck on things and repeats a lot. Also echoes when he hears from others  as he has gotten older he seems to be more aware of it and i continuously let him know that  I hear him and that he doesn't need to repeat it but i have to tell you his dad took him to the Aviator  with Leonardo de Caprio and when he saw him as Howard Hughes and he is saying "get me the blueprints" over and over its like all of a sudden he kinda  gets it---so cruel as it sounds when he goes off on a tangent and I cant get thru to him I look him in the eye and say "get me the blueprints" over and over and about the 3 rd time he says ok momma  don't say that anymore!  and then he stops!!! its truly weird how our kids live and learn  through media!!!!! I was really opposed to Dakota watching so much TV at first but when I realized that it could teach him better than I could in some ways I started using it as a tool and springboard to talk to him and teach him certain things. We started with a huge amount of PBS still to this day he watches Mr. Rogers  Cyber chase and Zoom all the time Now he is a reality TV  junkie and he gets it!! The Apprentice he totally understands the tasks and the fact that they will get fired if they don't do well. we watch it all Big Brother, Survivor, Fear Factor, The Cut,The Bachelor, Extreme Makeover- home edition, Dancing with the Stars I mean  we are true junkies then he watches game shows Shop till you Drop,  Millionaire, Jeopardy etc. Every time I use what ever the subject is to yak at him about context. God can I yak-------  it is pretty successful for him.  I read some where that the reason Autistics take to computers is because it is a safe reliable teacher that gives them the same answer every time and humans don't.  So I think its the same with the TV and the shows  they always do things the same way and have the same rules--So he learns!!!!  

2 PM AND STILL SLEEPING

ITS ACTUALLY 2:45 PM AND DAKOTA IS STILL SLEEPING.HE HAS TURNED HIS SCHEDULE ALL AROUND.ITS CRAZY.  I AM OK WITH IT CUZ I AM A NIGHT OWL ANYWAY BUT IT HAS REALLY MESSED WITH HIM AND HIS SCHEDULE. HE WAKES UP AND WANTS LUNCH AND HE STILL TRIES TO GO TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT AT 1O, HE TURNS OFF THE LIGHTS AND TV BUT WITHIN THE HOUR HE IS HOLLERING "MOMMA COME HERE!"

 WITH THE BROKEN LEG I AM TOTALLY DOWN WITH LETTING HIM SLEEP BECAUSE THAT IS WHEN THE BODY HEALS ITSELF  - - SO BE  IT.  I KNOW THAT I AM LUCKY TO HAVE A SCHEDULE OR THE LACK OF SCHEDULE TO ALLOW HIM TO DO THIS,MOST WOULD BE NUTS BY NOW!!!  

OH AND THE SHOWERING--ITS AMAZING HOW CREATIVE YOU CAN GET OUT OF NEED.DAKOTA HAS JUST STARTED A TINY BIT OF WALKING MAYBE TWICE A DAY TO THE BATHROOM SO YESTERDAY I CAPITALIZED ON THE TRIP AND MANAGED A SHOWER FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE HE BROKE HIS LEG.   I PUT THE PORTABLE COMODE INSIDE THE SHOWER  HUNG HIS LEGS OUT SIDE AND DRAPED THE SHOWER CURTIN BETWEEN HIS LEGS. WRAPPED A GARBAGE  BAG AROUND THE CAST AND DUCT TAPED IT THEN TOOK A TOWEL AND MADE A GASKET AROUND THE LEG TO PREVENT WATER FROM DRIPPING  AND AWAY WE GO   YIPPPPPEEEEEE                         SO I ACTUALLY HAVE A SOMEWHAT CLEAN KID  AND I THINK HE ENJOYED IT!!!

AFTER SHOWERING  HE STARTED GETTING AGGREVATED  AND WAS LASHING OUT AT GRANDMA AND HE KEPT YELLING "AM I CHEWING MY HANDS????" SINCE HE HAS BEEN DOWN WITH THE LEG HE HAS MANGED TO COMPLETELY QUIT CHEWING ON HIS HANDS  THANKS TO THE BATMAN BANDAIDS--REMEMBER THE ENTRY ABOUT THE 4 HOURS IT TOOK ME TO GET HIM TO PICK UP THE BANDAIDS?? "AM I CHEWING MY HANDS???" AND HE WAS GETTING VERY IRRITATED. ALL OF A SUDDEN I REALIZED THAT SINCE HE HAD BEEN IN THE SHOWER THE SKIN WAS PEELING OFF HIS HANDS AND IT WAS FREAKING HIM OUT. SO I STARTED IN OH DAKOTA  THIS IS GOOD  .   LOOK AT THIS YOUR HANDS ARE SO BEAUTIFUL AND LOOK AT YOUR NAILS  I SAT ON THE EDGE OF THE BED AND DEVELOPED A COMPLETE DIALOGUE ABOUT HOW NICE HIS HANDS ARE AND I TOOK A TOWEL AND STARTED RUBBING OFF THE OLD SKIN AND TELLING HIM THAT I WAS SO PROUD OF HIM AND THAT GRANDMA WILL PROBABLY PUT LOTION ON THEM IF HE SHOWS THEM TO HER AND WE TURNED AROUND A ESCALATED BEHAVIOR INTO A POSITIVE EXPIERENCE. BY THE TIME IT WAS OVER HE WAS CALM AND INSPECTING HIS HANDS AND DID ACTUALLY SHOW THEN TO GRANDMA WHEN SHE CAME BACK IN TO THE ROOM.

SO THERE YA HAVE IT THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS IN A NUTSHELL                        THERES A FEW MORE STORIES I WILL SAVE FOR LATER.                                                     FOR NOW I AM OVER AND OUT!

BOY HAVE I GOTTEN BEHIND!!!!!!

DONT KNOW WHO I AM APOLOGIZING TOO BUT I HAVE FALLEN BEHIND ON THIS JOURNAL--- WELL THATS LIVING WITH AUTISM!!!

THE 11TH WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I WAS A BIT EMOTIONAL ABOUT THE WHOLE SITUATION AND THE FACT THAT MY MORTALITY STARES ME IN THE FACE EVERY BIRTHDAY AND I CONCERN IS WHO WILL PICK UP WHERE I LEFT OFF---ITS ABOUT DAKOTA  ALL I WANT IS FOR HIM TO BE HAPPY AND THAT CAN HAPPEN IF THEY MEET HIS NEEDS--SO I HAVE TO AMKE THAT HAPPEN!!!

WHAT A SEGUE  [SEG-WAY} OK   REFERRING BACK TO AN ENTRY A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO  ABOUT   A VISION FOR A CENTER FOR AUTISM   WE ARE FINALLY MOVING FORWARD. RIGHT NOW WE ARE ORGANIZING A PICNIC POTLUCK TO START THE PROCESS. DEVELOP A PLAN, GATHER IDEAS AND GET THIS THING IN GEAR. 

ANYONE INTERESTED CAN EMAIL ME AThttp://DAKSOPENDOOR@AOL.COM           WE ARE CONSIDERING SOMETHING THE FIRST 2 WEEKS OF AUGUST IN THE LATE AFTERNOON /EARLY EVENING.

 

ONE MONTH 14 DAYS

YES THATS RIGHT ONE MONTH 14 DAYS SINCE THIS FIASCO BEGAN! YOU KNOW I HAVE GONE THRU LIFE KNOWING THAT IT WASNT GOING TO BE A EASY RIDE FROM EARLY ON--I HAVE TRIED TO BE RESISLIENT, LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, KEEP A SENSE ON HUMOR, EXERCISE CAUTION, USE GOOD JUDGEMENT, BE A GOOD PERSON, TREAT PEOPLE AS I WOULD WANT THEM TO TREAT ME AND SOMEHOW IT JUST KEEPS COMING. OH DONT COUNT ME OUT I WILL PERSEVERE BUT, MAN, IT GETS TIRING !

DAKOTA REMAINS ON THE BED BUT HE HAS MADE A LITTE PROGRESS--THIS WEEK HE ACTUALLY GOT UP AND TOOK A COUPLE OF STEPS WITH THE WALKER--YIPEEEEEEEEEEEE  YOU SEE IT IS BABY STEPS WITH ALMOST ANYTHING.GUESS I HAVE TO SAY THAT IS ONE THING THAT AUTISM HAS REALLY TAUGHT ME--THE TRUE APPRECIATION OF THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE--COUPLED WITH MY AWARENESS THAT THIS LIFE WASNT GOING TO BE A PIECE OF CAKE HAS RESULTED IN MY ENTHUSIASTIC APPROACH TO LIVING!BOY IS THAT A REDUDNANT USE OF THE WORD LIFE  BUT ISNT THAT WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT???QUALITY OF LIFE NOT YOUR STATUS IN LIFE??? GUESS I AM GETTING ETHERIAL????SPIRITUAL??WHATEVER  @#$%&@#$%&*

TODAY IS A SPECIAL DAY HERE AND FOR THE MOST PART WE HAVE CHOOSEN TO NOT AKNOWLEDGE IT BECAUSE OF THE CIRCUMSTANCES AND I GUESS IT GETS BACK TO WHAT IS IMPORTANT AND WHAT COUNTS AND SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO GET ON WITH WHATS HAPPENING THEN TO MAKE TIME FOR FALDERALL THAT WILL BE HISTORY TOMMORROW!

SO CELEBRATE THE BABY STEPS IN YOUR FAMILES LIVES  RECOGNIZE THAT MATERIAL THINGS ARE WONDEFUL AND FILL YOU UP FOR THE TIME BEING BUT IN THE END THEY LOOSE THEIR LUSTER, GET OLD, GET FORGOTTEN OR SWEPT UNDER THE RUG, GET SOLD ,GET RUSTY,GET TRADED IN,GET BROKE WELL YOU GET MY DRIFT BUT THE MEMORIES YOU CREATE AND SHARE WITH YOUR CHILDREN AND OTHER LOVED ONES ARE SOMETHING THAT NO ONE CAN TAKE AWAY. THEY WILL REMAIN IN YOUR HEAD AND IN YOUR HEART AND THOSE ARE THE THINGS THAT NO MONEY CAN BUY.

 

  

 

 

 

 

ONE MORE THING

OH YEAH ON TOP OFF ALL OF THIS THE DOCTORS TELL ME TO GIVE DAKOTA TYLENOL FOR PAIN BECAUSE ADVIL IS NO CONDUSIVE TO THE HEALING PROCESS   SO SINCE HE CANT SWALLOW PILLS YET WHAT HAVE I BEEN USING???THE CHILDRENS MELT-AWAYS TYLENOLS!!! THATS RIGHT THE ONES THEY JUST PULLED OFF THE SHELVES THIS WEEKEND ---COULD CAUSE LIVER DAMAGE     GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO GOT ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO THROW AT ME??????

ACCIDENT?????? ANGER!!!!!!!!

MY INTIAL ANGER ABOUT THIS ACCIDENT WAS PRETTY SIMPLE. i FELT THAT IF THERE WAS NO ROOM IN THE CAFETERIA FOR THE CLASS TO HAVE LUNCH THEN DAKOTA SHOULD BE IN THE QUAD WITH ALL THE OTHER           "NEURO-TYPICAL"KIDS NOT IN THE NORTH 40 SEGREGATED FROM THE OTHERS. I UNDERSTAND THAT MOST OF THE KIDS IN DAKOTAS CLASS WANT TO BE THERE BUT DAKOTA HAS A 1 ON 1 AIDE TO ACCOMODATE HIS ABILITY TO BE A PART OF THE TRADITIONAL POPULATION.  AND HAD HE BEEN IN THE QUAD THENHE WOULD HAVE NEVER BROKE HIS LEG                                             YES  YES YES  IN KNOW  ITS ALL IF'S    AND ITS AN ACCIDENT --IT HAPPENS --IT COULD HAVE BEEN ANYBODY --QUIT MY BTCHING!!!!!     NOW AS OF TODAY  THE ANGER THAT WAS CALMLY DISMISSED AS JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS  HAS RE-SUFACED AND I AM MORE UPSET THAN EVER.

I WENT BACK TO THE CAMPUS FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE THE DAY DAKOTA FELL AND REALLY LOOKED AT THE SCENE OF THE CRIME. I WAS AMAZED AT WHAT I FOUND   WHAT I FAILED TO OVER LOOK  OR NOTICE BEFORE.  I FOUND NEGELECT. I FOUND A 4 FOOT EMBANKMENT LEADING UP TO A BASEBALL DIAMOND WHEE HUNDREDS OF KIDS TREK UP AND DOWN THAT IS WASHED AWAY BY RAINFALL  WITH A 10 INCH DROP FROM THE CEMENT FOUNDATION TO THE DIRT TRAIL FRECKLED WITH TRENCHES WORN IN THE SOIL FROM WATER ,LACK OF GRASS AND FOOT TRAFFIC. IT IS AN ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN AND I HAVE LIVING PROOF IT CAN HAPPEN!  IT IS  MIRACLE THAT DAKOTA DIDNT CRACK HIS HEAD OPEN WHEN HE FELL.

I REALIZE THAT MOST KIDS SHOULD HAVE NO TROUBLE ON CAMPUS GETTING AROUND AND I DO ADMIT THAT THESE KIDS IN DAKOTAS CLASS DO HAVE MOTOR PLANNING AND OTHER TACTILE ISSUES BUT I CONTEND THAT EVEN THE MOST SUREFOOTED PERSON COULD GET HURT .COUPLED WITH THE FACT THE THE OCCUPATIONAL THERAPIST JUST DISMISSED DAKOTA FROM NEEDING ANY THERAPY BECAUSE HE COULD GET AROUND THE CAMPUS ON HIS OWN!! HA HA

WELL I DONT KNOW WHEE ALL OF THIS IS LEADING BUT I AM SO UPSET RIGHT NOW --I HAD A DISPOSABLE CAMERA IN MY CAR SO ITOOK PICTURES  NOT SURE WHY BUT THIS ACCIDENT HAS BEEN AN UNBELIEVEABLE HARDSHIP ON OUR WHOLE FAMILY-- I THOUGHT I HAD MY PLATE FULL BEFORE BUT NOW I AM ON THE BRINK OF CRAZINESS. MY MOTHER HAS ENDED UP AT THE DOCTORS TWICE ,DAKOTAS HAS TWISTED THE HAIR ON HIS HEAD SO MUCH THAT HE HAS A BALD SPOT ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF HIS HAIRLINE AND THERE IS NO BREAK FOR ME---EVERY HOUR EVERY MINUTE THERE IS SOMETHING--- AS I WRITE HE IS HOLLERING FOR ME TO COME BACK THERE BECAUSE THATS RIGHT HE IS STILL NOT OFF THE BED. THE EMOTIONAL TRAUMA IS SO BAD THAT HE IS AFRAID TO GET OFF THE BED BECAUSE H WILL BREAK HIS "GOOD LEG" THIS HAPPENED APRIL 27 IT IS NOW JUNE 7

I AM READY FOR CAMARILLO STATE MENTAL HOSPITAL. AT LEAST IT WOULD BE NEAR THE OCEAN! BUT YOU WOULD HAVE TO SHOOT ME BEFORE I GIVE UP I JUST WONT DO THAT--SO UNTIL THIS PASSES I WILL PERSEVERE!   

MOTHERHOOD????

OK ,MY MOTHER, WHOM I HAVE A TULMULTUOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH; HOLDS ME TO A GOLD STANDARD WHEN IT COMES TO BEING RESPONSBLE FOR MY CHILD.i MEAN THAT ALTHOUGH SHE IS EXTREMELY INVOLVED IN HELPING RAISE MY SON SHE STILL EXPECTS ME TO BEAR THE BRUNT OF TAKING CARE OF HIM AND SHE CUTS ME NO SLACK WHEN IT COMES TO  ME HAVING ANY PERSONAL TIME. ITS THE "OLD FASHION" TRAINOF THOUGHT. IN HER EXACT WORDS, PEOPLE, WOMEN IN PARTICULAR, DONT THINK ABOUT THE HEARTACHE OR THE HEADACHES OF CHILD -REARING WHEN THEY; EXCUSE THE EXPRESSION BUT THESE ARE HER WORDS NOT MINE AND SHE IS  78; SPREAD THEIR LEGS AND MAKE BABIES!-GROSS AS IT SOUNDS SHE IS DIE-HARD ON PAY-DIRT. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR ANY PERSONAL TIME WHEN YOU HAVE A KID AND MOST ASSUREDLY WHEN YOU HAVE A CHALLENGED CHILD --WELL FORGET EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT.

YES I ADMIT I REALLY NEED TO  INVEST SOMETIME INTO FINDING SOMEONE WHO CAN KEEP DAKOTA COMPANY SO I CAN HAVE SOME TIME OUT BUT IT IS SUCH A FUNNY SITUATION TO BE IN WHEN YOU HAVE A PERSON SO INVOLVED IN EVERY ASPECT OF RAISING YOUR KID THEN TO HAVE THAT SAME PERSON  CONTROL YOUR INABILITY TO DO  ANYTHING ELSE??? DO I SOUND CRAZY???? I THINK I KINDA AM!

ALL I GOTTA SAY IS SINCE WE HAVE BEEN GOING THRU THIS BROKEN LEG FISACO       I AM ON MY LAST NERVE OF MOTHERHOOD! NEVER, NEVER IN MY WIDEST DREAMS COULD I HAVE EVER ANTICIPATED THIS KIND OF RESPOSIBILITY.EACH AND EVERY DAY IS COMPLETELY FILLED WITH THINGS I HAVE TO DO AND JUST WHEN I THINK I CAN SIT DOWN OR GET A BREATH SOMETHING ELSE POPS UP.. I DONT WANT TO COME OFF AS A COMPLAINER BUT I AM IN AMAZEMENT AT HOW MUCH THERE IS TO DO!  EVERY HOUR  HAS ANOTHER ASSIGNMENT AND SINCE HE IS STILL BED -BOUND IF I AM NOT DOING SOME TASK I AM KEEPING HIM COMPANY OR ENTERTAINED.  I AM JUST EXHUASTED AND I JUST DONT SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL.

I HAVE NEVER FELT OLD AND HAVE ALWAYS SAID THAT AGE IS A FRAME OF MIND BUT THE EXPIERENCE COUPLED WITH SOME OTHER FACTORS RE STARTING TO MAKE ME QUESTION MY ABILITY TO KEEP UP. OH NEVER FEAR I AM RELENTLESS AND WILL NEVER GIVE UP BUT AT THIS SPECIFIC PLACE AND TIME I AM IN A SLUMP.      PERHAPS VENTING HERE WILL HELP  AND CAN SAY ALREADY I AM STARTING TO FEEL A LITTLE LIGHTER.

I THINK THIS INCIDENT ALONG WITH OTHER PROJECTS AROUND THE HOUSE HAS JUST OVERWHELMED ME . AND THIS TO SHALL PASS   I THINK THE TRICK IS TO KEEP PLUGGING ALONG--BEING THE TURTLE NOT THE RABBIT!!!