So I walk into the bedroom yesterday and I realize Dakota is crying ....full bore crying crocodile tears ...sniveling and snotting uncontrollably..MY HEART STOPS.....it is a double edged sword , I have joy that he can experience emotion but sadness because something is breaking his heart. I am quite sure EVERY PARENT probably feels this way ; I can't help my self because he cannot express WHAT IS MAKING HIM SAD....I have no ability to talk him through his feelings or to "FIX" what's has made him sad... I don't know how others get through this....
This is just another "thing" that sets us apart from others...then the guessing starts , the asking starts only to get "I DON'T KNOW GO AWAY " The biggest issue is its oxen up in his head and even thinkin about a psychologist is a wash ...it wont accomplish anything
Well the day has come and gone and I am still thinking about it and what I might be able to do.I can only hope that somehow "nature" will help him work through the feelings and allow him to understand that it's OK to cry and its ok to feel sad but not let it consume you...For now my heart stops everytime he cries.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Autism Boards Online
As Dakota has grown and now exited or aged out of School have found that many of the Autism Boards ( support groups) that are on line don't really line up with my perspective or needs BUT I stay connected and watch them on a once a week basis just to make sure there's nothing I am missing.
Caviot: on Yahoo under "Health" they have several groups that cater to specific diagnosis or group of people with a common needs and questions...once you put Autism in the search it will pop up probably 100 different options.....you can pick and choose what suits your needs
Ok back to my post, every once in awhile a subject pops up that interests me ....recently there was a mom who was having trouble with trying to find appropriate placement and was considering a "non public" school setting....my response was often the non public classrooms are more of a nightmare and even worse for our kids...perhaps the better option was to try to work in the district to find a better class and a better teacher . The bigger message from me was this our kids spend about 12 to 16 years in school only to leave with a certificate of Completion NOT A DIPLOMA yet most all of them will live out in the community for the better part of 60 years after school and there is nothing, NOTHING out there, no supports no laws nothing to help. You can spend your energy fighting the schools and the districts become exhausted ,listless ,2 steps forward only to go 1and a half steps back and when schools over all they do is wave bye bye ....
I guess my point and the purpose of the this post about the online groups is that there is all kinds of information and choices,wonderful success stories and horrible tragedies ..many of them can help . Just think that they are like anything else where you have to keep perspective of what they can offer...there are some who judge accordion to whether you do and say the same as they do, there are others that you can write and ask questions and no one will ever respond .
Use it as a tool , but always be guided by your own intuition ...
Caviot: on Yahoo under "Health" they have several groups that cater to specific diagnosis or group of people with a common needs and questions...once you put Autism in the search it will pop up probably 100 different options.....you can pick and choose what suits your needs
Ok back to my post, every once in awhile a subject pops up that interests me ....recently there was a mom who was having trouble with trying to find appropriate placement and was considering a "non public" school setting....my response was often the non public classrooms are more of a nightmare and even worse for our kids...perhaps the better option was to try to work in the district to find a better class and a better teacher . The bigger message from me was this our kids spend about 12 to 16 years in school only to leave with a certificate of Completion NOT A DIPLOMA yet most all of them will live out in the community for the better part of 60 years after school and there is nothing, NOTHING out there, no supports no laws nothing to help. You can spend your energy fighting the schools and the districts become exhausted ,listless ,2 steps forward only to go 1and a half steps back and when schools over all they do is wave bye bye ....
I guess my point and the purpose of the this post about the online groups is that there is all kinds of information and choices,wonderful success stories and horrible tragedies ..many of them can help . Just think that they are like anything else where you have to keep perspective of what they can offer...there are some who judge accordion to whether you do and say the same as they do, there are others that you can write and ask questions and no one will ever respond .
Use it as a tool , but always be guided by your own intuition ...
It must be the TIME of the Year---Mothers Day
I am not quite sure why the emotions "crowd" up on me around this time...perhaps it's just coming out of a sleepy winter and lots of things are awakening including my feelings . One thing I know for sure is Mothers Day is next week , I am experiencing melancholy and a bit of loneliness.....not typical of my personality ! Also reviewed my posts on this subject and there are 4 excerpts out of over 350 So I know this is a redundant topic.
I must say I am a very independent woman and am not one to ask for help or assistance unless it is absolutely necessary, however I am an extremely emotional person ....Mothers Day just gets to me. I find it challenging to portray my thoughts because I do not want it to sound like an "oh poor me scenario"....It is not
What "it" is : is my need to describe how different our (many mothers of children who are disabled) experience is so much different from the rest of the world and although its not about pity or compassion or even empathy it's more about explaining a world that I don't believe most people even knows exists.. I know there has to be someone in every ones life that knows one of these Mothers, is friends with one of these mothers , works with one of these mothers or somehow has contact with one of these mothers....My point is that our kids love us yet will never be the one to surprise us with a Toaster Strudel and the morning newspaper in bed or even one that has the ability to go any place and pick out a card yet they will be the same ones who reiterate and yammer for days if not weeks before that Mothers Day is coming....
Now no one can replace what a mother would want her child to do but this is more about any little kindness that could be passed on like trading a shift, or a phone call just to see how they are, giving a coupon for money off a dinner or even a simple eye to eye greeting with a "hello how ya doin".
I really must say I think this is more about the masses out there but it's driven by my experience...this can translate throughout the year .....for me it's just The Time of the Year that makes me sit down and post! B T W Happy Mothers Day to all Mothers cuz I know we all have our own dragons to slay and different situations...Make the best of the DAY!
I must say I am a very independent woman and am not one to ask for help or assistance unless it is absolutely necessary, however I am an extremely emotional person ....Mothers Day just gets to me. I find it challenging to portray my thoughts because I do not want it to sound like an "oh poor me scenario"....It is not
What "it" is : is my need to describe how different our (many mothers of children who are disabled) experience is so much different from the rest of the world and although its not about pity or compassion or even empathy it's more about explaining a world that I don't believe most people even knows exists.. I know there has to be someone in every ones life that knows one of these Mothers, is friends with one of these mothers , works with one of these mothers or somehow has contact with one of these mothers....My point is that our kids love us yet will never be the one to surprise us with a Toaster Strudel and the morning newspaper in bed or even one that has the ability to go any place and pick out a card yet they will be the same ones who reiterate and yammer for days if not weeks before that Mothers Day is coming....
Now no one can replace what a mother would want her child to do but this is more about any little kindness that could be passed on like trading a shift, or a phone call just to see how they are, giving a coupon for money off a dinner or even a simple eye to eye greeting with a "hello how ya doin".
I really must say I think this is more about the masses out there but it's driven by my experience...this can translate throughout the year .....for me it's just The Time of the Year that makes me sit down and post! B T W Happy Mothers Day to all Mothers cuz I know we all have our own dragons to slay and different situations...Make the best of the DAY!
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