It seems all too often I have apologized for gap in my posting on this BLOG. I have come to realize that I will probably be apologizing many more times as this too is the nature of AUTISM.
Many who live in our world will say that every single kid with Autism is different and that is so true.. It is a peculiar and mysterious disorder and it makes you crazy and frustrated more than you can imagine. I think you develop a tougher exterior and emotional threshold as a defense mechanism. It also makes you mentally exhausted most of the time. That's a causality of the disorder......You are constantly trying to decode behavior , anticipate environment and analyze your child's actions. I cannot emphasize the word EXHAUSTING too much.
In our home things have been unusually out of sync for the passed several months and I have found that a little of the AUTISM has rubbed off on me... It's funny how it effects you even tho you are not the one that is Autistic. I have developed routines around Dakotas schedule and since he has been changing things it has become frustrating for me , as I had molded my own habits around his ...Oh what a tangled web we weave!!!!When he changes, then the time I have allotted to do something goes down the tubes then I find myself upset , thrown off kilter and scrambling to accommodate the change so I can get done what I needed or wanted to do. AND for the majority of time I find myself not accomplishing things ....hence the frustration.
This too , is a double edged sword because when you see your child welcoming change it is a positive experience , yet you always worry what the downside is... ANOTHER THING IHAVE WRITTEN ABOUT BEFORE about be careful what you wish for because when you see the diminishing of one behavior you can bet the bank that another one will replace it AND it could be worse.An example would be chewing or the finger replaced with twisting and pulling hair out of the scalp?????Gotta choice? I thought I knew what I was doin but here I am again with balding holes on his scalp and me flipping out about it...
Well once again the routine has changed and Dakota just came flying thru the door so it is time to close this down and get on with taking care of him...
I hope you will all stay tuned and NOT GIVE UP ON ME .. PLEASE know I will continue to post all I have to do find the time to sit down and compose!
