Separation Anxiety comes in many forms and most are difficult for those us who do not have this "condition" to recognize. It can be the subtlest change or absence of something-anything that can spark a behavior or reaction.
For Dakota his is particularly strong and present in transition of schedule or routine --that's probably a no brainer for most of you who care for or live with autism---BUT the most overwhelming occurrences of behavior or resistance seem to be when he exits a program. It can be going to the OT or the PT, if he is attending a program at the college, even with in school when the semester changes and perhaps there is a new class or new students in a class or even a course of study all of these are pre-cursors to a spark of behavior. Its as if he is committed to these things as a life long activity and when suddenly they are ending or no longer available it is devastating to him.
The short answer or resolution to the problem would be to just continue on but as we all know things change and move and disappear. What I have concocted on several occasions is a two-fold process that seems to help the transition.
1.I start a dialogue early on {as soon as I know something is going away} I tell him that he is doing so well and that there does seem to be the need anymore for him to attend and that we need to think about moving on to another challenge. In the case that it is something that is being taken away without my approval I still try to spin it in a way that he knows that we will try to find something else to replace it.
2.I work with those involved to make a clear path to the end . This is telling him the date he will be ending the program {giving as much time as possible} and that he will have a small graduation ceremony. I either use my computer to print up a Certificate of Completion or I will buy one at the stationary store and get everyone involved to sign it and take a picture even have a small party like cupcakes and punch.
Of course you can tweak this process to fit your child and not everyone will have these issues. All I can say is this has really helped us when a program has come to an end and he is having anxiety or it.
The world is far from perfect and I agree our kids need to learn that it changes often with out our wanting it too, happen BUT if i can make it easier on everyone and especially my kid then its only a little extra effort for a smooth ending!
