BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!!

I THINK I HAVE WRITTEN ABOUT THIS BEFORE BUT FELT COMPELLED TO WRITE AGAIN-- THERE IS AN OLD SAYING "BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR"   IF YOU ARE A PARENT OF AN AUTISTIC CHILD THIS SAYING HAS PROFOUND MEANING---

OUR KIDS HAVE WHAT THEY CALL "STEMMING" OR "STIMMING" WHICH EVER SPELLING YOU USE IT IS ENUF TO DRIVE YOU RIGHT OUT OF YOUR MIND SOMETIMES--

IT IS A REPETITUOS BEHAVIOR THAT  HELPS THE CHILD "HANDLE" A SITUATION  OR CALMS THEM WHEN THEIR BRAINS ARE OVERLOADED. FOR THE MOST PART THIS PERSEVERATION CONTINUES SOMETIMES FOR HOURS ANDTHERE IS FINE LINE BETWEEN  STIMMING AND  HABIT. THE MOST WONDERUOS QUALITY OF THIS BEHAVIOR IS THAT WHEN ONE ISSUE GOES AWAY ANOTHER WILL REPLACE IT  AND FOR THE MOST PART ITS IS EVEN MORE AGRAVATING THAN THE LAST ONE

HENCE "BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR"                                         EXAMPLE: CHEWING FINGERS  IS REPLACED WITH  TWISTING HAIR    OR MEOWING LIKE A CAT IS REPLACED WITH BARKING LIKE A DOG  - - THERE ARE SO MANY MORE BUT I THINK YOU GET THE PICTURE

THE BIGGEST PROBLEM WITH THESE BEHAVIORS IS THAT THEY ARE A COPING MECHANISM FOR THE AUTISTIC TO DEAL WITH A WORLD THAT DOESNT OFFER TYPICAL PEOPLE THE SAME CHALLENGES. MOST PEOPLE INCLUDING THE GENERAL PUBLIC --DONT GET IT; DONT UNDERSTAND THE BEHAVIOR AND  OFTEN RE-ACT  IN APPROPRIATELY  WHEN THEY WITNESS THESE BEHAVIORS. I KNOW THAT EVERYONE CANT BE AN EXPERT ON AUTISM BUT I THINK THIS IS A COMMENT ON HOW PEOPLE ARE GENERALLY MEAN AND JUDGEMENTAL TO THOSE WHO DONT LOOK AND THINK THE WAY THAT THEY DO. WE AS PARENTS FIND OURSELVES TRYING TO "CURB" THE PRESEVERATION IN PUBLIC BECAUSE OF THE LOOKS FROM STRANGERS--I OFTEN SIEZE THE OPPORTUNITY TO EDUCATE SOMEONE. I DONT PRONOUNCE TO THE WORLD  THAT MY SON IS AUTISTIC AND I DONT HAVE THE LUXURY OF HAVING A TATOO ON  MY FOREHEAD SAYING MY SON IS AUTISTIC            {i did considerit!} SOMETIMES THERE ARE SPECIFIC INCIDENTS  I   CAN  INFORM THE PERSON  THAT MY SON IS AUTISTIC AND OFTEN OFFER THEM A BUSINESS CARD WITH INFO ABOUT AUTISM-- I DONT WANT TO GET "PREACHY" I JUST WANT TO EDUCATE WHEN THE OPPORTUNITY PRESENTS ITSELF....

FOR THOSE PARENTS WHO ARE STRUGGLING WITH "A BEHAVIOR" JUST REMEMBER THAT THE NEXT ONE CAN BE WORSE. SEARCH OUT STRATEGIES THAT HELP YOU CURB THE BEHAVIOR WITHOUT STARTING ANOTHER. ALWAYS REMEMBER THESE KIDS NEED AWAY TO COPE WITH  THEIR ENVIROMENT. BE PREPARED AND ACCEPTING IF ANOTHER STIM COMES ALONG!   

MOST IMPORTANTLY  B R E A T H E

 

ABOUT THIS JOURNAL

I HAVE TO  ADDRESS A FEW ISSUES ABOUT MY JOURNAL

WHEN I STARTED THIS I HAD NO CLUE HOW TO GO ABOUT STARTING THIS AND THE CHOICES I MADE FOR THE BACK GROUND COLOR  HAS TURNED OUT TO BE PERHAPS NOT THE RIGHT CHOICE-- HOWEVER I HAVE NOT FIGURED OUT HOW TO CHANGE IT WITH OUT LOOSING OR COMPROMISING ALL THE EXSISTING POSTS-- IF I CHANGE IT TO A LIGHT BACKGROUND THE POSTS THAT ARE IN THE LIGHT COLOR MAY NOT TRANSLATE OR I MAY HAVE TO JUST START ALL OVER AND I REALLY DONT WANT TO LOOSE THAT WORK---

I CONTINUE TO EDUCATE MYSELF AND WILL TRY TO IMPROVE ITS READABILITY IN THE FUTURE -- ONE OTHER PROBLEM I HAVE IS WHEN I COPY AND PASTE ARTICLES OR OTHER POEMS AND CORRESPONDENCE OFTEN TIMES IT TRANSFERS INTO BLACK  WHICH IS HORRIBLE TO READ

I APOLOGIZE AND WANT YOU TO KNOW I WILL CONTINUE TO WORK ON IMPROVING THIS JOURNAL FOR EVERYONES READING PLEASURE

AND GINA-BABY  THIS ISNT JUST FOR YOU  SOMETIMES I HAVE TROUBLE READING MY OWN POSTS HOWEVER I HAVE SUCCUMBED TO THE FATE OF MOST WOMEN APPROACHING THE "MIDDLE YEARS" AND WEAR GLASSES ALMOST ALL THE TIME-- HAVE TO SAVE FOR LASER-VISION!!!     HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA   

THE PURPLE ROSE

OK THIS IS TITLED  GODS GARDEN AND IT MAKES REFERENCE TO A BLUE ROSE -- WELL THERES REALLY NO ACTUAL BLUE ROSE SO I WOULD LIKE TO SUBSTITUTE THE REFERENCE TO A PURPLE ROSE-- THEY ARE  RARE BUT DO EXSIST -- MANY OF THE LAVENDAR AND PURPLE ROSES ARE STRONGER IN FRAGRANCE AS WELL AS COLOR--- AND MORE UNIQUE THAN OTHER ROSES!!!!

 

It was time for me to do my "Dollar Store" run, which included light bulbs, paper towels, trash bags and Clorox. So off I go.

I scurried around the store, gathered up my goodies, and headed for the checkout counter only to be blocked in the narrow aisle by a young man that appeared to be about sixteen-years-old.

I wasn't in a hurry, so I patiently waited for the boy to realize that I was there. This was when he waved his hands excitedly in the air and declared in a loud voice,
"Mommy, I'm over here."

It was obvious now, he was mentally challenged, and also startled as he turned and saw me standing so close to him, waiting to squeeze by. His eyes widened and surprise exploded on his face as I said,

"Hey Buddy, what's your name?"
"My name is Denny and I'm shopping with my mother," he responded proudly.

"Wow," I said, "that's a cool name; I wish my name were Denny, but my name is Hal."

"Hal like Halloween?" he asked.

"Yes," I answered. "How old are you Denny?

"How old am I now Mommy?" he asked his mother as she slowly came over from the next aisle.
"You're fifteen-years-old Denny. Now be a good boy and let the man pass by."

I acknowledged her and continued to talk to Denny for several more minutes about summer, bicycles and school. I watched his brown eyes dance with excitement because He was the center of someone's attention. He then abruptly turned and headed toward the toy section.

Denny's mom had a puzzled look on her face and thanked me for taking the time to talk with her son. She told me that most people wouldn't even look at him, much less talk to him.

I told her that it was my pleasure and then I said something. I have no idea where it came from, other than by the prompting of the Holy Spirit. I told her that there are plenty of red, yellow and pink roses in God's garden, however, "Blue {PURPLE} Roses" are very rare and should be appreciated for their beauty and distinctiveness.

You see, Denny is a "Blue {PURPLE} Rose" and if someone doesn't stop and smell that rose with their heart and touch that rose with their kindness, then they've missed a blessing from God.

She was silent for a second, then with a tear in her eye she asked,

"Who are you?" Without thinking I said,
"Oh, I'm probably just a "daffodil or maybe even a dandelion," but I sure love living in God's garden.
 

Poem that hits Home

Heres a poem that seems to capture a great picture about out kids-- many have passed this on to people who work with our kids to give them some insight

They Say"
© 2005 Sondra Williams

I heard them talking about me, saying I am not like others
I can dance and sing and play, I feel, and cry tears too.
I am more like you, than you think

I heard them say that my silence reflects no emotion, no connections.
I cry many unseen tears, I laugh at life's blunders, although not in
ways foreseen.
I connect like you, more than you think.

They say I am intellectually impaired and will never learn to reach my
potential
I know about words and explore the world in ways others rarely know.
I am smarter, than you think.

The doctor says I will not be able to show affection or relate to my
own family
I gave them a smile from across the room, they didn't even notice.
I do know and feel love, more than you may think.

Some say my anger and the rages are animalistic.
I tried to communicate my fear the only way I know how, but no one was
listening.
I get angry like you, for reasons like you, more than you think

The doctors say there is no hope, I am void of understanding
I have dreams and think on them often, but due to my silence I can't
share them.
Yes, I have dreams and goals, just like others, more than you think

Strangers say I am out of control and not human.
I have a body, mind and soul, just somewhat challenged.
I am human more than you think.

I heard them talking, saying oh, she has autism, a disability of no
hope
If they only knew what is trapped inside me, I think.
They would say she's more like me, than what I used to think.
____________________________________________________
More of Sondra™s poetry and insights can be found athttp://www.thegraycenter.org/sectionsdetails.cfm?id=30
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REPLACEMENT WATCH

WELL THE REPLACEMENT WATCH CAME YESTERDAY-- I TOOK GREAT PRECAUTIONS TO MAKE SURE THAT THE WATCH WAS IDENTICAL BUT AS USUAL THE PIC THAT WAS ONLINE WHICH REPRESNETED THE "NEW " WATCH WAS EXACTLY LIKE DAKOTAS WATCH HOWEVER AS WE ALL KNOW THINGS ARENT ALWAYS AS THEY SEEM    THE WATCH WAS SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT- - - - - -

SO THE FUN ENSUED-- BELOW IS AN EXERPT ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS AFTER I BROUGHT THE WATCH HOME AND TRIED TO GET DAKOTA TO PUT IT ON--- 

I thought you might be interested in a few little pieces of info as to the watch since it has come "home"
Initially I told Dakota that it was found at the "plant" {the sewer plant} and they were cleaning it up and sending it back
But I knew that story would not last long

After getting from you yesterday I brought it home not realizing that the face on Dakotas watch  was that mellow orange color and even on the picture of it online it shows that color but this watch has a gray  background---
sooooooooooooooooooooo

When  I showed it to him he wasn't buying the story--"Thats not my Watch!"
I didn't even recognize the difference at first

I kept saying "yes Dakota  It is!"  Finally he just Plain refused to put it on--- I tried all after noon and evening and No GO     {I realized the subtle differences but I kept my mouth shut knowing if i uttered a word about the difference that would be the end of the watch wearing}

I gave him every argument in the book --Finally I told him Randy and Cindy Helped me get you a new watch. You are right the old one is gone and this is a new one.
He said he just wasn't going to wear a watch anymore.
I told him it was just like his old one and he said UN-huh-- I told him it was the best I could do  and I would like him to wear the watch--- ---
Last night before going to bed he finally caved into my request and put the watch on but he is still apprehensive about it -- as he has now pointed out that his watch had the orange face and the GSHOCK  on his original watch  was in white and this one is red!!!


I swear you cant get anything by this kid --- I told him that it was the way it came
that's the picture we used on the Internet showed his watch  but maybe because its a new year that its a new model!!!

Never-the-less  he is wearing it and hopefully that is how it will stay
It always amazes me that these kids are discounted for their shortcomings  yet the possess great talents that many never see
So the watch is on and I think he's settled with the differences

And all is right in his world -- for now!!!!