THINGS HAVE BEEN RATHER TRYING AROUND HERE FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS AND AVOIDING MOST OF THE DETAILS I HAVENT BEEN COMPELLED TO TAKE THE TIME TO WRITE---
AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT WAS BECAUSE I DIDNT HAVE THE TIME AND THEN I THOUGHT IT WAS BECAUSE I HAD "SAID" WHAT I WANTED TO SAY ABOUT AUTISM BUT I HAVE DECIDED ITS JUST BURN OUT OR WRITERS BLOCK--HAHA IMAGINE FEELING GUILT OF NOT WRITTING IN MY OWN JOURNAL WHATS UP WITH THAT???
THE OVERALL THEME THAT KEEPS PLAYING IN MY HEAD RIGHT NOW IS THAT I DONT SEEM TO HAVE A SPECIFIC INCIDENT TO DRAW FROM BUT A SERIES OF THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED RECENTLY THAT HAVE COMPELLED ME TO TAKE TO THE KEYBOARD ONCE AGAIN
FROM A PERSONAL POINT OF VIEW I HAVE ALWAYS SAID THAT THE ONE THING MY SON AND AUTISM HAS TAUGHT ME IS PATIENCE -- OHHH NOT A LOT OF IT BUT MUCH MORE THAN I HAD BEFOR MY SON WAS BORN AND THERE ISNT A DAY THAT GOES BY THAT I DONT HAVE TO STOP AND BREATHE AND RE-GROUP TO ALLOW OUR HOME TO BE A BETTER PLACE MOSTLY FOR DAKOTA BUT FOR ME TOO. IT IS A DIFFICULT TASK TO UNDERTAKE WHEN THE PRESSURE OF EVERYDAY LIFE GETS IN THE WAY BUT THERES A SAYING IN OUR HOUSE THAT IS ""ITS A MIRACLE WE HAVE NOT ALL ENDED UP IN PATTON""{THATS A STATE MENTAL HOSPITAL HERE IN SO-CAL}
THAT BEING SAID I CANT TELL YOU HOW MANY MOMS I HAVE CORRESPONDED WITH OR TALK WITH IN A SUPPORT GROUP OR ON THE PHONE THAT DEAL WITH THE SAME THING COUPLED WITH THE PRESSURE OF MAINTAINING A TYPICAL FAMILY ITS ENOUGHT TO DRIVE YOU NUTS. THE MAIN FEELING I GET FROM ALL OF THEM IS THE PRESSURE IS EMMENSE AND AUTISM THROWS A WRENCH INTO EVEN THE SIMPLESTTASK--CAN YOU IMAGINE JUST WANTEING TO GO TO THE STORE FOR MILK SO YOU GET YOUR SELF PRESENTABLE ;YOU ROUND UP THE KIDS CUZ OF COURSE THEY ARE ALL OUT OF SCHOOL THAT DAY AND YOU HAVE TO GO BECUASE YOU NEED TO PICK UP TOILET PAPER TOO --YOU ARE OUIT AND THE FAMILY NEEDS IST AND NEEDS IT TODAY HUBBY IS AT WORK OF COURSE AND HELPING SOMETIMES BUT NOT REALLY PLUGGED IN AND IT JUST SEEMS SIMPLER TO DO YOURSELF AFTERALL YOU ARE THE HOMEMAKER AND ITS YOUR JOB SO YOU START THIS JOURNEY--I DIGRESS--
SO YOU ARE JUST ABOUT TO WALK OUT THE DOOR AND THE AUTISTIC ONE STARTS SCREAMIMNG AND DECIDES TO LOCK HIMSELF IN HIS ROOM-- WELL OF COURSE YOU SAY SHOULD NT HAVE LOCKS ON THE DOORS --WELL THERE ARENT ANY BUT HE IS ON THE BED AND STONEWALLING REFUSING TO GO-- ITS EITHER HIS LACK OF ABILITY TO CHANGE SCHEDULES BECUASE THIS IS UNPLANNED OR THERES SOMETHING ELSE GOING ON SO YOU PUT ALL YOUR TOOLS TOGETHER AND COAX HIM OUT OF THE ROOM IN THE MEANTIME THE OTHERS HAVE GOTTEN ROWDY AND ARE CAUSING OTHER GRIEF ;SO YOU MANAGE TO MAKE IT TO THE CAR AND YOU TELL YOUR AUTISTIC ONE WHAT YOU ARE DOING SCRIPTING THE TRIP SO THERE IS NO ANXIETY AND TO START ON YOUR REGULAR PATH AND THERE IS A ROAD BLOCK SO YOU HAVE TO TAKE AN ALTERNATE PATH-- SHOULDNT BE A PROBLEM THATS WHAT YOU THINK ALL OF A SUDDEN THE RAGE IS BACK BECAUSE THE ROUTINE IS INTERUPTED ONCE AGAIN YOU DO WHAT YOU CAN BUT YOU CONTINUE TO MOVE CUZ YOU ARE ALMOST ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH YOU MISSION--MILK AND TOILET PAPER!!! YAHOO
AFTER SOME YELLING IN THE MINI VAN AND A DETOUR YOU ARRIVE AT THE STORE ONCE AGAIN WITH THE TYPICAL SIBLINGS PULLING TEIR REG NONSENSE BEING KIDS AND THEN THERE THE GUY THAT NEEDS SPECIAL ATTENTON--- OH THE PLACE I USUALLY PARK IS FULL HAVE TO GO SOMEPLACE ELSE SHOULDNT BE A PROBLEM RIGHT??? WRONG WE HAVE THE ABILITY TO ABSORB AND TOLERATE THESE CHANGES IN LIFE WITHOUT THINKING AND WITHOUT INCIDENCE OUR KIDS DONT! SO ANOTHER OUT BURST YOUR GUY IS TRYING BUT CHANGES CHANGES CHANGES WRONG DAY FOR THE STORE WRONG PATH TO THE STORE WRONG PARKING AREA AT THE STORE AND GOD NKNOWS WHAT LIES ION THE STORE-- PIPES IN MUSIC THAT CAN BE LIKE A LOUDSPEAKER TO THEM ;SOMEONE WITH PERFUME OR AFTERSHAVE THATS SETS OFF THEIR SENSE OF SMELL;SOMEONE THAT COMES TO CLOSE AND INVADES THEIR PERSONAL SPACE; FLOURESCENT LIGHTS THAT FLICKER JUST ENUF TO SET THEM OFF; A COLOR OR TEXTURE OR SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS AN LADY GIVING OUT SAMPLES THAT IS NOT USUALLY THERE AND ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE SHE IS STANDING NEAR AN AISLE THAT YOU HAVE TO GO DOWN AND YOUR CHILD IS FREAKED---OH I COULD GO ON BUT I THINK I HAVE REVEALED THE GIST OF THE STORY-- EVERY LITTLE THING THAT WE TAKE FOR GRANTED BECAUSE IN A SENSE WE HAVE AN "AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSION" TO ADJUST TO THESE EVER CHANGING EVER EVOLVING SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES: OUR AUTISTIC KIDS HAVE "MANNUAL TRANMISSIONS" AND YOUHAVE TO START IN NEUTRAL, STEP ON THE CLUTCH AND THEN SHIFT INTO GEAR BEFORE YOU CAN ENGAGED IN TRAVEL----YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING AND KEEP IN MIND THAT THESE KIDS JUST CANNOT DIGEST LIFE THE WAY MOST OF US DO AND NO MATTER HOW EFFICIENT THESE MOMS WANT TO E THERE ARE EXTRA STEPS THAT HAVE TO BE TAKEN TO ACCOMODATE THE GLORIUS CHILD HTHAT HAS CHALLENGES WE CANNOT UNDERSTAND-- OFTEN TIMES THE TYPICAL PART OF THE FAMILY SACRAFICES . THE MOM FEELS THE TUG ON MER HEART STRINGS AND HATES TO AGAIN AND AGAIN MAKE HER FAMILY ADJUST BUT THATS WHAT MOMS DO THAT MAKE SURE THAT THEY HAVE DONE ALL THEY CAN TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY HAS EQUAL CONSIDERATION WHICH REALLY MEANS THE SPECIAL KID GETSA MORE CONSESSIONS THAN THE OTHER ONES
FAIR IS NOT NECESSARILY EQUAL
IT IS WHAT IT TAKES TO GIVE EACH INDIVIDUAL THE NECESSARY TOOLS IN LIFE OR WHERE EVER TO BE SUCESSFUL
THAT MEANS A HUGE AMOUNT OF
AWARENESS--- UNDERSTANDING AND PATIENCE!
