2 Meltdowns and One Lost Earring!

September came quickly with the always and ever present birthday looming...lots of preparation and planning,for my boy only asks for one thing all year long and this is it...Don't know if I have ever posted these thoughts but this is my justification ...I have a kid who; all year long NEVER ASKS FOR ANYTHING....you never know what he might be yearning for because he just doesn't express himself that way...ONCE A YEAR he asks to go to the Disneyland Hotel and Goofy's Kitchen..I try to offer other locations or destinations,BUT. NO ..he wants Disneyland...so it is done!
This is a kid who doesn't make a wish list for Christmas,never watches the commercials on TV And says oh I want that MOM,he doesn't ask for Nikes,iPads/iPods, money for the movies or to go out, or for clothes. So the way I look at it if I spent money on all those things over the course of the year it would cost even more than what is spent for his trip....

Every year there are added expenditures that are of NO MONETARY VALUE....sometimes very minimal.This year it was 2 meltdowns and a lost earring...for many reasons the stress and anxiety of this annual event gets to him as much as it does to me...we both look forward to it but sometimes things just do not go according to plan ...

One major challenge this year was the parking...long story short the lot I ALWAYS park in was shut down and created several obstacles ...and it stressed me out..I got huffy and Dakotas "mirrored behavior"kicked in...we made due thru his birthday but somehow by the next day I had a lil confrontation with the parking attendant gaining access to the parking lot I managed to get them to allow me to park in and all of a sudden I was getting resistance..well I got huffy and Dakota followed suit..the arm would come up to let me in and the attendant came over to direct me to another lot but when they observed Dakota having a screaming fit decided to let me in rather than pull their nonsense on me..what a shame that a kid has to have a meltdown before they believe your story that you need specific parking for the reason you stated.....

Oh yeah and Dakota decided to grab me after we finally got parked and I lost an earring...luckily. NOT an expensive one but I was bummed anyway ...that's a minor loss I can live with....

The following day a couple of his friends came and went to the park with him ....and I am still not sure exactly what caused it..but In the bowels of California Adventure..all the way deep into the park, we had ridden several rides and stopped to get refreshments....and when we were checking out his drink tilted ever so slightly but 3 drops fell out and he turned into a basket case...screaming it spilled It spilled...Call the cops!
as luck would have it there was a parade going on outside so the restaurant was a ghost town so I
barricaded him in a corner till I could talk him down off the ledge...I have gone over everything and  still cannot point to one specific thing that caused this meltdown...but  it was not...I mean hotter than hot that day, he has just gotten off Screaming and I caudled  him a lil getting him ready to ride, he had
 just taken a stellar pic with his friends and we walked into this restaurant and he lost it....very
unusual for him to be in the park and loose it...and it was a doosey...he went on for what seemed like an hour but it was probably more than 15 minutes..his poor friends just headed outside and the staff was gracious enough to allow me to let it work it's way out....he was pretty intense on this one so I kept him corralled in a corner near the exit and kept talking to him and telling him..it's ok. We can go but he has to get it together and walk calmly thru the park to get back to the room and I can't let him go until he gets it together ...finally the switch flipped and he walked out and made it thru the park and to the room without incident...
Later that night he started crouching like a sumo wrestler and grabbing at his inner thighs and the frickin  light went off in my head ..I realized he was chapped and was probably why he flipped.

Guess the whole point of this post is 2 fold ...the first being that when autism follows you everywhere you go,you just have to be of the mindset that things will always be a bit different.(it's usually that way with typical kids too ..it's just a different learning curve) There will always a lil extra price to pay and secondly it is so important to keep and open mind when the meltdown comes ..there's some
reason for it somewhere even if you can't see , don't know where it's coming from or can't figure it out...Do the best you can to minimize it, understand it, tolerate it. Just know these kids don't have the ability to shut it off and often the inability to tell you why it's happening.

Something that bears repeating!!!

Imagine having a child that was non verbal or does not have enough language to tell you he is hungry, cold, hot or hurt. Imagine that the child can not tell you that they have a head or stomach ache. The child is sad, angry, frustrated, but doesn't know how to express it. Imagine talking to your child may not help him when he is having a behavior, tantrum, or is not complying because that is the only way he knows how to communicate. Imagine never knowing what your child is thinking or feeling. Imagine being out in public and people judging you on being a bad parent because they do not know or could not possibly understand one iota of how challenging your life is moment to moment. Imagine being lonely, having challenged friendships, marriages or not finding a mate because people "cant" or just don't want to deal. Now, imagine sending your child to school with people who cant possibly care about him as much as you do. Not knowing what is happening throughout the day because he cant tell you and you are not sure if you can rely on those who are left to look after and care for him to tell you. You probably cant.. Imagine being called at work because your child was itchy and took all their clothes off in public or was bullied because of his "differences" or coming home with unexplained bruises that never really get fully explained and you would not be able to verify one way or the other anyway. This child does not know how to make or keep friends and is also lonely. This is a common existence with special needs families. Sometimes not as severe. Sometimes much more significantly severe. Welcome to our worlds. Its super easy to judge from the outside looking in but no matter how much you know or think you know..you have never walked in another persons shoes to experience exactly what that have or do. Whether you think you understand and even if you don't understand at all, try to be patient and supportive ...this applies to all people because you never know what challenges anyone is faced with.

This was taken from McClain special education advocacy page...she is one of the heros leading the charge on the unjust treatment and disregard for our children visiting Disneyland...I think it is very succinct and really makes you stop and think...

Another Fabulous Disney Birthday

Well way behind in posting.....What a day, what a week ..my only purpose is to create memories that Dakota will never forget!!!!