I apologize but for some reason the blog is not allowing me to edit or finish up my previous post March on Washington ....so I will close with this...some of the same raw human emotions, feelings and opinions continue to prevail ..Perhaps we will never get to a place of "A Perfect World" ...
Those of us who travel down this road have one constant plea...Just let our kids be a part of the community, embrace them the way they are ,include them when you can and tolerate their differences because they cannot change it any more than anyone of us can change the color of our skin!...
That March on Washington was for all of us and for many reasons I thank Martin Luther KingJr. and the thousands of people who descended on Washington those many years ago for at least starting the process that we have yet to complete!
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
The March on Washington DC - 50 years
Perhaps you might wonder why this topic is related ...I express my observation!
In honor of the the March on Washington and the effects, intensions and accomplishments that day meant to so many I express my sincere appreciation to those who not only showed up and demonstrated but for those who had the ability to listen, observe and do something about this cause....
It was 1963 and I was barely old enough to truly understand why this march happened and what it actually meant. I lived in a place where segregation was not prevalent and our neighborhoods as well as community was liberally integrated. My parents , neighbors and people whom I came in contact with didnt display the hatred and jaded opinion towards someone who might not be or look exactly like them....I don't pretend my world was perfect but for a kid going to school and living where I did, I never thought any of the other kids were really any different from me ..perhaps one might have ethnic food aromas coming for their house , or someone's mother required them to take their shoes off before entering the house or another was required to go to church EVERY SUNDAY no exceptions and had to sing gospel music in the church choir .. It wasn't because they were Afro American or Asian or even Hispanic ...it was just because that was they way they lived!
OK so my first real experience with segregation and discrimination was Junior High when they started the bussing programs with kids being brought from the other side of the city for mandated integration...quite honestly I believe that most of us kids were totally OK with it and didnt even realize that these kids didn't live in our neighborhoods. It was the adults who were having the struggles.We made friends and still dealt with the angst of puberty and just getting by...Oh make no mistake we had our share of incidences and there were kids not happy but again I have to say I do
not ever remember it being a big deal ..
As we all grow and learn , we develop our own opinion and perception and again I dealt with my
own "discrimination" as I was the chubby girl...that never bothered me either..(I thank God that I was lucky to have the type of personality that allowed be to be well adjusted) What I will say is one incident in High school was empowering and probably the one and I only time I felt in the crux of "racial unrest" . Ironically I was in the quad with my "sister" holding her hand and protesting with the predominantly black population of the school because we had a homecoming game and they were not going to allow one of our star players,who just happened to be Afro American ,play because he did poorly on a test...Well befor it was over the school was I lockdown and the Army National. Guard was called in...
Now with all that back ground I will bring it full circle to my most current experience and why this March is and was so important but how we still have so far to go...
In dealing with a child who has autism and for the most part is classified as Special Education, there
a fine line that has to be walked in order to get what your child needs but accommodate many who
don't necessarily have the propensity to tolerate or accept any human being who is not "typical or normal" ..this is with the school districts and the community of "school" ...Yes there is a large population of people teachers and professionals that are on board and have the right spirit in their hearts to give our kids the most typical experience possible yet throughout our years I saw infraction after infraction and situation after situation where I would proclaim "what is this????are we back in the 60's"
Time after time I can tell you that walked my child to EVERY SCHOOL HE ATTENDED to a segregated area of the school,usually in the back ( like the back of the bus)....in area where NO TYPICAL CLASSROOMS were,normally surrounded by fencing and almost always "portables" ....their lunchtimes were most always different than the typical kids and often time they didnt even eat in the same place as the other kids ( God forbid that you request that your kid might take lunch out in the quad with the others)...they often times had different PE and here's the kicker they loaded the
buses in a different area of the school and they were excused up to an hour before reg school got out
yet required to be up sometimes as early as 5:30 in the morning get there for school by 7:30 because of the arduous bus schedule....
I guess what I am getting at these kids didnt have anything to do with the March that occurred 50 years a
In honor of the the March on Washington and the effects, intensions and accomplishments that day meant to so many I express my sincere appreciation to those who not only showed up and demonstrated but for those who had the ability to listen, observe and do something about this cause....
It was 1963 and I was barely old enough to truly understand why this march happened and what it actually meant. I lived in a place where segregation was not prevalent and our neighborhoods as well as community was liberally integrated. My parents , neighbors and people whom I came in contact with didnt display the hatred and jaded opinion towards someone who might not be or look exactly like them....I don't pretend my world was perfect but for a kid going to school and living where I did, I never thought any of the other kids were really any different from me ..perhaps one might have ethnic food aromas coming for their house , or someone's mother required them to take their shoes off before entering the house or another was required to go to church EVERY SUNDAY no exceptions and had to sing gospel music in the church choir .. It wasn't because they were Afro American or Asian or even Hispanic ...it was just because that was they way they lived!
OK so my first real experience with segregation and discrimination was Junior High when they started the bussing programs with kids being brought from the other side of the city for mandated integration...quite honestly I believe that most of us kids were totally OK with it and didnt even realize that these kids didn't live in our neighborhoods. It was the adults who were having the struggles.We made friends and still dealt with the angst of puberty and just getting by...Oh make no mistake we had our share of incidences and there were kids not happy but again I have to say I do
not ever remember it being a big deal ..
As we all grow and learn , we develop our own opinion and perception and again I dealt with my
own "discrimination" as I was the chubby girl...that never bothered me either..(I thank God that I was lucky to have the type of personality that allowed be to be well adjusted) What I will say is one incident in High school was empowering and probably the one and I only time I felt in the crux of "racial unrest" . Ironically I was in the quad with my "sister" holding her hand and protesting with the predominantly black population of the school because we had a homecoming game and they were not going to allow one of our star players,who just happened to be Afro American ,play because he did poorly on a test...Well befor it was over the school was I lockdown and the Army National. Guard was called in...
Now with all that back ground I will bring it full circle to my most current experience and why this March is and was so important but how we still have so far to go...
In dealing with a child who has autism and for the most part is classified as Special Education, there
a fine line that has to be walked in order to get what your child needs but accommodate many who
don't necessarily have the propensity to tolerate or accept any human being who is not "typical or normal" ..this is with the school districts and the community of "school" ...Yes there is a large population of people teachers and professionals that are on board and have the right spirit in their hearts to give our kids the most typical experience possible yet throughout our years I saw infraction after infraction and situation after situation where I would proclaim "what is this????are we back in the 60's"
Time after time I can tell you that walked my child to EVERY SCHOOL HE ATTENDED to a segregated area of the school,usually in the back ( like the back of the bus)....in area where NO TYPICAL CLASSROOMS were,normally surrounded by fencing and almost always "portables" ....their lunchtimes were most always different than the typical kids and often time they didnt even eat in the same place as the other kids ( God forbid that you request that your kid might take lunch out in the quad with the others)...they often times had different PE and here's the kicker they loaded the
buses in a different area of the school and they were excused up to an hour before reg school got out
yet required to be up sometimes as early as 5:30 in the morning get there for school by 7:30 because of the arduous bus schedule....
I guess what I am getting at these kids didnt have anything to do with the March that occurred 50 years a
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Small Victories....Overwhelming Emotions!
This is probably a topic that anyone who lives with Autism can attest too.....When our children are infants even toddlers you find yourself watching all the little makers ANY PARENT does... "Did he raise his head by 6 weeks?" "Did he sit up by 6 Months?" "Did he take is first steps by a year?" Many times in our "world" these don't happen on time,most especially the words and communication that's usually comes by 2 years....
We find ourselves struggling for answers , dreading the outcome AND making excuses why our child is "behind" all the while, secretly crying inside knowing that this is just another "marker" of Autism.
As we grow into the diagnosis we learn to work with what happens and there are many strides our kids make..the closer to age appropriate ,we get a Lil spark of happiness and hope that perhaps this thing called Autism hasn't completely swallowed our kid up . When they are small it is much easier to camouflage many of their delays because as we all know every child develops on their own schedule and our children can fit in a little easier ...In my opinion about the time elementary school starts is when those opportunities start becoming more challenging....When they are not potty trained or talking by 1st grade it is much more tricky to overlook the deficits and those around our children are acutely aware as well. By the time Middle School and High school roll around many of our kids are just LOST in many ways....Don't get me wrong the more typical experiences and typical age appropriate kids the better,they are like sponges and they will mimmick. We all need to keep in mind they are still Autistic and they still don't always interpret what they see and hear the way others do. HOWEVER when they do decipher an appropriate behavior or response I can guarantee you can shoot us to the moon....it is the most overwhelming joyous feeling .It may not be long lived and it may not remain with our children as a forever learned behavior but for that one moment in time our child was a hero!!!To know that in some special way for that one special moment we saw our kids relieved of the torment and craziness that goes thru their heads thousands of times a day , the stars aligned , the Neuro paths were clear and firing correctly and they were able to handle a situation or even more prominent a behavior in a way like never before.
I cannot express in words on this page what that feels like ....the emotions are huge .I know this sounds perhaps a bit dramatic or over played especially for parent that do not have kids on the spectrum ....I know my description is accurate .I read it every day on blogs and Facebook pages how someone child went into a restaurant for the first times and didnt have a meltdown ,or went thru the night dry no accidents, or even mumbled a sound that remotely sounded like a word ...This is how we lives our lives folks....
You can shout from the rooftops about typical kids doing typical things and I applaud your blessings. When our child accomplishes the smallest hurdle we rejoice like he climbed Mount Everest .
I am not saying that we are anymore special ,all I am saying is what most go thru on an average day with average expectations of their child is like winning the lottery for us....Small Victories yield Huge Emotions!
Footnote: source of this article was an accomplishment late last week when Dak and I went to his routine place to pick up dinner and there was a 45 minute delay due to baked potatoes not being ready.The minute I found this out I,YES I started freaking out cuz I knew this was the type of thing that could potently trigger behavior...I looked at him and told him the food was not ready and we had to come back . Without hesitation he said Ok Mommy walked right back to the car asolutely No Problem No behavior..OH MY GOD...the second part was returning to finally pick up dinner and again NOTHING..."wait am I on an alternate universe???whats happening ??? Why am. Having a normal outcome??? Is someone trying to trick me?" After all of that we get in the car and drive home with the food , dish it up and STILL HAVE A DAY without incident! THAT'S ALL I can ask for!WHOPEEEEEEE. YEHAAAAAAA. HALLELUJAH BREAK OUT THE CHAMPAGNE!
See what did I tell you ..small victories ; huge emotions! What a great day!
We find ourselves struggling for answers , dreading the outcome AND making excuses why our child is "behind" all the while, secretly crying inside knowing that this is just another "marker" of Autism.
As we grow into the diagnosis we learn to work with what happens and there are many strides our kids make..the closer to age appropriate ,we get a Lil spark of happiness and hope that perhaps this thing called Autism hasn't completely swallowed our kid up . When they are small it is much easier to camouflage many of their delays because as we all know every child develops on their own schedule and our children can fit in a little easier ...In my opinion about the time elementary school starts is when those opportunities start becoming more challenging....When they are not potty trained or talking by 1st grade it is much more tricky to overlook the deficits and those around our children are acutely aware as well. By the time Middle School and High school roll around many of our kids are just LOST in many ways....Don't get me wrong the more typical experiences and typical age appropriate kids the better,they are like sponges and they will mimmick. We all need to keep in mind they are still Autistic and they still don't always interpret what they see and hear the way others do. HOWEVER when they do decipher an appropriate behavior or response I can guarantee you can shoot us to the moon....it is the most overwhelming joyous feeling .It may not be long lived and it may not remain with our children as a forever learned behavior but for that one moment in time our child was a hero!!!To know that in some special way for that one special moment we saw our kids relieved of the torment and craziness that goes thru their heads thousands of times a day , the stars aligned , the Neuro paths were clear and firing correctly and they were able to handle a situation or even more prominent a behavior in a way like never before.
I cannot express in words on this page what that feels like ....the emotions are huge .I know this sounds perhaps a bit dramatic or over played especially for parent that do not have kids on the spectrum ....I know my description is accurate .I read it every day on blogs and Facebook pages how someone child went into a restaurant for the first times and didnt have a meltdown ,or went thru the night dry no accidents, or even mumbled a sound that remotely sounded like a word ...This is how we lives our lives folks....
You can shout from the rooftops about typical kids doing typical things and I applaud your blessings. When our child accomplishes the smallest hurdle we rejoice like he climbed Mount Everest .
I am not saying that we are anymore special ,all I am saying is what most go thru on an average day with average expectations of their child is like winning the lottery for us....Small Victories yield Huge Emotions!
Footnote: source of this article was an accomplishment late last week when Dak and I went to his routine place to pick up dinner and there was a 45 minute delay due to baked potatoes not being ready.The minute I found this out I,YES I started freaking out cuz I knew this was the type of thing that could potently trigger behavior...I looked at him and told him the food was not ready and we had to come back . Without hesitation he said Ok Mommy walked right back to the car asolutely No Problem No behavior..OH MY GOD...the second part was returning to finally pick up dinner and again NOTHING..."wait am I on an alternate universe???whats happening ??? Why am. Having a normal outcome??? Is someone trying to trick me?" After all of that we get in the car and drive home with the food , dish it up and STILL HAVE A DAY without incident! THAT'S ALL I can ask for!WHOPEEEEEEE. YEHAAAAAAA. HALLELUJAH BREAK OUT THE CHAMPAGNE!
See what did I tell you ..small victories ; huge emotions! What a great day!
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Cross post with Facebook Page
Well I posted somethin on Facebook so I thought it was a good article for my blog:Things have been relatively good ....I take the behavior as a part of our lives and you cannot just wish it away.Many are convinced that therapies and diets can "cure" Autism ..I don't agree. It's more like diabetes as long as you get the proper insulin you can live with it,the same for all the "so called cures"for autism.....Keep them going and you might see an improved life but the minute you discontinue our kids are STILL AUTISTIC and will go to their graves AUTISTIC....... An observation I have slowly begun to realize is that specifically in Dakotas case I feel , considering the onset , trigger and duration of his behaviors. Especially in recent times ,it seems to indicate something like a seizure....the "triggers" are very diffcult to recognize and sometimes there is very little to point to as a trigger. The onset is almost instaneous literally one minute happy good behavior to raving maniac hitting and shouting. The duration is usually quite brief in terms of what I have compared to others on the spectrum. AND many times after it "passes" , he will be meek and apologetic as if he had no ability control his outburst...perhaps This is more indicative of Bi-polar or some other DX . When our children get older it becomes more and more apparent that they like many other "populations" are "throw aways" ...the doctors stop giving you therapies or alternatives , they are usually physiologically healthy so there's nothing to be done about that,there is no support after 22 from school or educational institutions ..all that is left is to put them in a work program where they are behind closed doors doing busy work (for the most part) and it becomes a glorifies babysitting service....VERY FRUSTRATING! I believe many of these kids CAN STILL BENEFIT From therapy and programs ..there is just nothing out there...I don't mean to slam the work programs because they do perform a valuable service to thousands of challenged kids who are very happy to go every day BUT It is the only alternative and that's what is not right...OH I digress....one last thought there are even more kids coming up in to the general population getting out of school and if something is not done there won't be anything out there for them ..!..PEOPLE UNIT AND STAND UP NOW BEFORE its your son or daughter out there floating with no where to go....they will only spend the better part of 12 to 18 years in Pre school and school at the maximum age of 22 they must exit school programs then until they reach old age unless they are fortunate to be Aspies and can get a decent job they will be in thE community with. N O T H I N G and NO WHERE TO GO!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)