When is Enough -- Enough????

I would say that this is one of the most preplexing problems we as parents of children with Autism or special needs for that matter---Because these kids either have no way to let us know what they want or what they are feeling or when they have a form of communication it is delivered in a cryptic way you are always second guessing the moves you make!

There is also the other issue of picking your battles.You know you can only beat your head againsy a wall for so long until you do damage that is irreversible.

This is where I am right now--                                                        I am experiencing an extreme period of frustration. The issue revolves around Dakota and school. For the most part Dakota was enrolled in school at an extremely early age and has been attending ever since he is now 21.{the law provided us with an option for him to attend until he is 22} Although it was never our intent that he would go this long circumstances presented themselves which changed our course of action. Up until he was 18 --he was going to graduate BUT when he broke his leg things changed -- and I might say for the better because we found new life in a different classroom with a different teacher that gave him new and exciting options he never had before.

He is currently still in this class and has benefited greatly.There are draw backs mostly the kids are chronologically younger than him and have some behaviors that irritate Dakota .The upside is that they are socially advanced enough for Dakota to learn new "community skills" He also has had a lot more exposure to typical kids through the Best Buddies program and has a cute little sophmore girl that is his friend and she is a perfect match.

So heres the rub--- Dakota has always had difficulty in schedule or routine iterruptions and for example when there are minimum days or a day off for staff developement -- It totally scrwes him up!And it often takes me a week or so to get him back into the routine of getting up and going on a regular schedule to school -- He will be reluctant and resistant to going back-- AND currently this is occurring with him being off for his surgery.

I know there is apprehension because of the actual injury. I am quite sure the foot and toe are sensitive and he is afraid that going to school may cause discomfort. Also there is the psychological element of his fear about hurtig himself again which is impossible to convince him that - -IT WILL BE OK.

One other point of argument is that he is probably just had enough of school-- all of us know that it was a relief when we finally finished school and only had work to look forward too--ha ha 

All of that being said the crux of this problem is he is absolutely digging his heels in and not wanting to go back to school . Everyday it is a fight, an argument, a negociation .So I ask myself when is enough ---enough? As a Mother it my duty and obligation to not only encourage him to attend school but to insist that as long as he is well and enrolled that he must go--On the other hand I begin to second guess my insistance---Its not like he is taking a period of history and period of algebra etc :this school district has given up on him {although I press on at home to teach him}It not like he is going to get a diploma-- just a token "certificate of completion" So whats the point?--- WHAT IS THE POINT  of fighting a 21 year old young man to return to school when he doesnt seem to get much pay off for the extreme effort he has to make every day to face school with Autism? To go to  place where there are so few who understand and have the ability welcome him with open arms and where there is so little opportunity for him to be a part of the typical population. I have to admit I feel the regular ed kids are loosing out by not being integrated with our kids too. Afterall when school is done and all of us are out in the Big Bad World there is no separation whether is is color or size or disability we are all a community and that sens of community needs to start at school--Sadly it doesnt. Although educators are suppose to teach often times they dont realize that they are role models setting the wrong example by NOT having special needs kids in their classrooms--- this is a whole different subject

Resume back to enough is enough---I dont know if I have resolved the problem but I hope that I have shed light on the thought process when you are dealing with a Not So Typical kid---Every parent struggles with what is the right decision  I just think that sometimes we allow what others think to shade our decision .