What right ? What's Typical?

I rejoice Everytime I see Dakota make a small step of progress whether its conversational or concept and I thank my lucky stars that he is as functional as he is!!!Many especially those in the Autism  world label him as high functioning and for those of us who live this disorder  we know that labels are more for the parents than they are for the kids. As I  discover more people with Autism who can express themselves one of the things that seems to ring true is that they look at autism being a part of who they are not something to fix.
I have found myself repeatedly asking if what I want for Dakota is what he wants for himself....you know the jargain about being typical and wanting typical experiences...Is more because that's what I think he needs or is more about what I think society thinks he needs ....

Recently this has become more prevalent  in my mind as I see him becoming more and more reclusive and much less amicable towards participating every day activities that most young adults do...It hurts me to see him not want to bowl, or miniature golf, go to a movie or the mall...More so when I try to challenge him to do one of these things it becomes a trigger for escalation of behavior that is more than just a no ! It bothers me so severely that I find myself fighting tears trying not to let him know that it upsets me .He gets extremely vocal and screams at the top of his lungs  mostly to "SHUT UP" even when I am not speaking...

My heart breaks because I feel he is missing a significant part of life and love by not doing some of these activities...but should my heart break ??? should I just say I like this and he likes that and that the way it is and I need to leave well enough alone....

One thin I have learned is that you have to pick your battles and sometimes it's just not worth challenging him and than creating  confrontation....I don't have the answers  I wish someone could enlightened me but I don't think there is a right answer...or at least a correct answer..

For now I will have to muddle thru making a decision each time the situation comes to pass. Live with the frustration of not being able to push him to try and shed  a few tears in the process!