The "Holidays" have officially arrived!

Well I guess it has to happen some time. Hip Hip Hooray the holidays have finally come in with a bang!

I write about this every year and I keep a close watch on schedule, routine and making sure things are well thought out but no matter how hard I try it seems like that nasty ole Autism has a way to rear its ugly head and make sure I know that ultimately "IT" is control. I do not consider myself a control freak, nor am I one who has to have order in my life. Autism does not roll that way so I do what I can to keep life as smooth as possible.

Yes, you are right we had the first big "blow out" of the season. Even with 23 years of experience behind me I still do not know what the hell happened. I admit I have seen similar behavior before surrounding the same situation but today was intense. I have been trying to "de-code" all the ques and figure out what to do, how to handle it or at least plan the best defense for the next time.

It stems from the Saturday routine -- without going into particulars we went through the typical schedule upon arriving home he went straight to the bedroom, pulled his clothes off and flopped on the bed. I went in to encourage him to come out and "IT" was on! Every nasty bad word came flying out of his mouth in a shrieking pitch. Then the growls and physical flailing of the arms. The anger and aggression is never with intent but it is always out of control. I try with every ounce of my being to not "retaliate" or become physical toward him because I believe that all it will yield more aggression. So the obvious is to not react. There's a point where survival kicks in and you have to defend yourself but that is only if injury is looming. This is my baby and I love him and I dont want to hurt him in any fashion BUT I cannot allow him to hurt me or others.
I have to somehow get through to him; that this is NOT acceptable. He could potentially become aggressive toward the wrong person and he will end up getting punched or worse. How do you do that when it seems as if all reason and sanity has gone out the door???

Unfortunately I do not have a "pat" answer. Pulling from as far back as Dakota's infant years I can remember when he would get so damn mad he would be screaming and crying and nothing would soothe him. So I would take him into the bathroom, turn out the lights and deprive him of all sensory; just hold him and usually in a few minutes he would come around. Using similar technique now I have discovered that the best strategy is to just walk away and leave him alone and let his brain "re-set". Of course you have to be very aware of the surroundings. {making sure that there is nothing that he could pick up, ingest or hurt him}

Now that I have several hours under my belt since the "incident" my observation is a bit less reactive and more cerebral. The first notation is this behavior is almost seizure like-- the loss of control and inability to manage his thoughts and actions. He literally has no control or intent with his actions. I fear that most anyone would misinterpret his behavior. "Typical" People do not possess the tolerance to really understand our kids-- they could potentially hurt them or worse drug them into a stooper just to "manage them".  The second thing that occurs to me is potential illness. I always try to rule out this from the onset of behavior. Often this is difficult because of his high tolerance to pain and inability to communicate whats bothering him. And finally I tend to think that Dakota may be trying to break his own routine but its is so difficult for him again with his inability to convey that he is trying to change. I believe that he does have a keen awareness his challenges and he honestly is trys to change things up to break the cycle.

This was a significant incident that brought out a lot of emotiuons and feelings of helplessness. Being in the middle of a situation happening so fast and furious it is so hard to figure out what to do and how to handle it--- The best advice I can give is to back out of the situation, take 5 minutes, breathe, think, analyze, wait and pray for devine intervention, some kind of guidance or an epiphany. AND  
Remember it is Autism and this is their disability -- it is not their fault.
You can be sad, you can hate it but it is what it is and there will be days like this-- Just pull yourself up by the boot straps and get on with life cuz maybe tommorrow will be a day that your child  laughs and has a happy day.