4 HOURS

AS A PARENT OF A AUTISTIC CHILD I AM SURE YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH THE PHRASE "PICK YOUR BATTLES". WELL LAST FRIDAY I DID ; AND I ACTUALLY LEARNED SOMETHING IN THE PROCESS TOO!

THIS PARTICULAR CONFRONTATION WAS OVER BANDAIDS .  THATS RIGHT  BANDAIDS. DAKOTA HAS BEEN SOMEWHAT PRE=OCCUPIED OVER HAVING BANDAIDS PUT ON [WHICH IS AN ATTENTION SEEKNG BEHAVIOR] HIS FINGERS TO "REMIND" HIM NOT TO CHEW OR PUT HIS FINGERS IN HIS MOUTH. HE HAS BEEN SOMEWHAT SUCCESSFUL IN SLOWING THIS SELF INJURIOUS BEHAVIOR BY USING THIS TYPE OF REMINDER SO I HAVE OBLIGED HIM.

HE CAME TO ME AFTER SCHOOL AND SHOWED ME THAT HIS BANDAIDS HAD EITHER FALLEN OFF,FELL OFF OR WERE PULLED OFF AN WITHOUT WORDS  BASICALLY INDICATED THAT HE NEEDED MORE BANDAIDS. I TRIED TO PUT HIM OFF FOR AWHILE BUT I REALIZED THAT IT WAS PETTY AND TO JUST  GO ALONG WITH HIS REQUEST. MINUTES LATER HE LOOKED RIGHT AT ME AND PULED OFF THE BANDAIDS [ THAT I HAD JUST PUT ON ].THE GAUNTLET WAS THROWN DOWN AT THAT MOMENT AND I CHOSE TO TAKE THIS BATTLE.

SO INSTEAD OF REPLACING THE BANDAIDS I GRABBED THE VICKS [VAPO-RUB] AND SAID THAT IF HE WAS GOING TO PULL OFF THE BANDAIDS I WOULD PUT SOMETHING ON THAT HE COULDNT PULL OFF AND COVERED HIS FINGERS LIGHTLY WITH THE VICKS JUST TO GIVE THEMA SCENT TO KEEP OUT OF HIS MOUTH. NEEDLESS TO SAY THE FIGHT WAS ON ---DAKOTA FLIPPED OUT GROWLING AND  WHINNING  CRYING AND YELLING  BASICALLY PISSED OFF AT ME BECAUSE I BEAT HIM AT HIS OWN GAME. HA HA  THE JOKE WAS ON ME. FIRST HE GRABBED THE BOX OF BANDAIDS AND FLUNG THEM ALL OVER HE BEDROOM FLOOR WE ARE TALKING ABOUT 60 TO 80 BANDAIDS-I IGNORED IT  THEN I TOLD HIM THT HE WOULD NOT GET HIS TRADITIONAL REWARD ON FRIDAY JACK IN THE BOX IF HE DIDNT PICK THE BANDAIDS UP-HA HA  THEN  WE WENT TO THE NEXT LEVEL HE STARTED GRABBING AT THEM ON THE FLOOR AD THROWING THEM AT ME---I IGNORED  CONTINUING TO RE-ITERATE NO JACK IN THE BOX UNTIL YOU PICK THEM UP-- GRANDMA WALKED IN TO TRY TO REASON WITH HIM THEN HE GRABBED A HANDFUL OF BANDAIDS A SHOVED THEM IN HIS MOUTH OF COURSE GETTING A REACTION FROM HER.      I IGNORED - - THIS STARTED ABOUT  430 PM- - I MERELY STATED TO HIM THAT THOSE BANDAIDS WOULD STAY ON THAT FLOOR UNTIL HE WAS 55 BUT HE WAS GOING TO PICKTHEM UP AND THAT THERE WOULD BE NO REWARD EITHER. AS THE HOURS PASSED I CONTINUED TO WALK OVER THEM AND HE TRIED TO BAIT ME INTO CONVERSATION ABOUT THEM BUT I ONLY MADE CONSILIATORY COMMENTS LIKE I WILL HELP YOU PICK THEM UP ; ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ASK FOR HELP. I WENT INTO THE KITCHEN AND GOT HIM A BASKET TO PLACE THE BANDAIDS IN AND TOLD HIM IF HE PICKS THEM UP I WILL HELP PUT THE BACK I THE BOX 

4 HOURS LATER  HE FINALLY CONCEDED ABOUT 830 PM THE BATTLE WAS OVER  AND HE DID GET JACK IN THE BOX AS A REWARD

THE LESSON I LEARNED IS SOMETIMES IT TAKES OUR KIDS 4 HOURS,10 HOURS, 2DAYS OR 3 WEKS TO GET SOMETHING THAT A NEURO-TYPICAL CHILD CAN GRASP USUALLY IN A MATTER OF MINUTES OR REPETITIONS. IT IS QUITE APPARENT TO ME THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS THAT OUR CHILDEN HAVE SUCH A DIFFICULT TIME IN TRADITIONAL EDUCATION SETTINGS. EVEN IF YOU HAVE TEACHERS AIDES AND OTHERS WHO KNOW YOUR CHILD; TRADIONAL CLASROOM SETTINGS DO NOT LEND THEMSELVES TO "PICKING A BATTLE". FAR BE IT FROM ME TO MAKE EXCUSES FOR TEACHERS OR THE EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM BUT HOW CAN WE EVEN EXPECT A TEACHER TO ENGAGE IN A BATTLE THAT IS INTERRUPTED BY THE SCHEDULE OR ROUTINE OF THE CLASS AND  THE OTHER CHILDREN EVEN OTHER AUTISTICS THAT NEED THE SAME  ATTENTION ? WHEN I THINK ABOUT THE VARIOUS TRANSITIONS IN SCHOOL FROM TASK TO TASK  RECESS  LUNCH  P.E. AND OTHER INTERRUPTIONS HOW CAN A TEACHER TAKE ON SOMETHNG AS SIMPLE AS A  4HOUR BATTLE??? OH I EXPECT IT BUT FOR THE FIRST TIME I REALIZE WHY WE GET SO MUCH RESISTANCE--ITS NO EXCUSE W HVE TO INSIST ON ACCOMODATIONS BUT I THINK THATS THE KEY   THAT IS WHAT I ACTUALLY LEARNED. WE HAVE TO MAKE THE ADMINISTRATORS AS WELL AS THE TEACHERS AWARE THAT IT IS EXPECTED AND CERTAIN THINGS HAVE TO BE UNDERSTOOD    NO MATTER WHAT THE CLASS DYNAMICS THIS IS HOW OUR CHILDREN LEARN AND EVEN IF IT TAKES 4 HOURS  THIS IS WHAT OUR KIDS  MUST HAVE.  NO EXCUSES     THEN WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE ITS DONE!