The Loss

The Loss of our friend and Dakotas coach /mentor has impacted us in so many ways. I have found myself struggling to write as many things have happened yet I am having a hard time sorting thru what is directly connected to Brad passing and just a round of different behaviors--

My biggest obstacle was telling Dakota about Brad==WOW that was a hard one and it took e almost 2 weeks. I managed to shield him for a while but came to the conclusion that this is a fact of life that just has to be experienced--I contemplated telling Dak that Brad had just gotten a job in a far way town but after a day or so I realized that this would have been even more difficult as Dakota has legitimate abandonment issues and if Dakota thought that Brad just up and moved on him that would be worse. So when the time was right -- not to late in the day so Dakota would not dwell on it at night and after he had eaten at least one meal for the day I sat down and did the best I could. It tore me up. I realize now that even tho I liked Brad and had genuine feelings of friendship with him it was more about how it would effect Dakota-- immediately as well as long term. This was going to turn Dakotas world upside down.

Oh we will survive and I will press onward for Dakotas independence but it was just about the trust and ease with Brad. I knew Dakota was safe and protected when he was with Brad. We have started a few things to try to re-establish some activities but it will be a rebuilding period. Honestly NO ONE  will ever replace Brad. I have started to plan and plot out alternatives and pray that we wont have to go thru this again. I think the lesson is "No matter how well you think you have things figured out there will always be unforeseen obstacles"
further more BackUP BackUp BackUP !!!!!!!! you can never have enough Back Up.