Recognize, Understand and Accept some Behavior!

There will be some who will probably disagree with me adamantly on this observation . I stand solid on this belief. I hope those who read this will consider my opinion.

Our children, teens, young adults, adults regardless of their Autism are just like anyone else. They have their likes and dislikes and personality quirks that make them WHO they are. We as parents and caregivers,even professionals that work with our kids.have a human flaw to try to correct their {our children} every flaw. I define flaw as anything that would indicate to the "outside world" that our kids are Autistic or any less than "typical". From a personal stand point I am constantly aware of our surroundings when in public and keenly aware of anyone that might be observing or paying closer attention than most to my son and the interactions that are occurring. My mind is in constant motion analyzing, plotting and negotiating ways to allow Dakota to co-exist in the community without causing judgment or worse, rejection from the general public. I want him to have a even playing field. I admit perhaps that attitude is a bit "Pollyanna".

Recently we went to a studio for a taping of a TV show. This is a preferred activity and something that Dakota does extremely well. Once seated in the studio audience there are periodic times when you are allowed to get up and stretch, go to the bathroom or get a drink of water---as some of the tapings can be 3 or 4 hours.

I try to prepare Dakota so we wont have any "hiccups" while we are at the studio/ Those hiccups being primarily "behaviors". Make sure he has eaten and pee'd and all of his creature needs have been tended to ----

One issue I have been struggling with is Dakotas hydration. For several years he has had a blatant refusal to drink water out of ANYTHING other than a water fountain{YUK}. I have tried everything he absolutely refuses a water bottle or even a fast food drink cup with a lid and straw. he will not drink water except at home with one specific glass that sits next to the counter top dispenser and even that is only once in a while--- he has regressed to eating ice cubes for hydration most of the time. This behavior is very challenging due to the health implications of keeping the body hydrated . I have to stay on him at home and I use alternatives like de-caf Ice Tea or 100% juice Popsicles. occasionally I torment him enough to drink from his glass and I succeed about 50% of the time. When we are out we improvise. Mostly seeking out any water fountain available -- I have gone so far as to have him drink from a hose because there was no fountain!

OK so this gets back to the title --- Recognize,Understand, and Accept 'SOME" behavior.When we were at the studio Dakota decided to get up to stretch and seemed like he wanted he to come with hm-- I followed him out to the lobby where he discovered NO WATER FOUNTAIN.
Before I could even say a word he grabbed me by the shoulders, growled a bit and started shaking me. It was near a doorway where people were going in and out of and couple of men came around the corner and looked like they were not sure what to do. I took a deep breath reached for my "inner calm" and said its OK Dakota -- I know you want a water fountain--they don't have one--lets go see what we can do?---- I originally started to head for the bathroom thinking I could get him to drink from the sink but there was a line and I didn't want to deal with the looks and stares by barging into the men's or ladies room. So we walked outside. I found some sprinklers and knew there had to be a water source so we strolled around the building until I found the valves and VIOLA There was a spigot! I know anyone who was watching probably thought we were both nuts but I knew this would resolve the behavior. I got the water turned on and had Dakota just take a few sips and it was like magic---- He walked away, walked back inside and that was it NO MORE BEHAVIOR.

So I cannot stress enough how much you have to keep on your toes to recognize those triggers and know what strategies you can use to appease the behavior. Some of these behaviors are just who our kids are and we cannot make them give up every thing that defines them as an individual. We all try so hard to turn our kids into "White Bread" when they are more like a "Swirly Rye!" We have to let them have some identity and sometime that's indicative of behavior-- There is a reason in their head why they do what they do . I believe they they cannot possibly be mis-behaving for the attention -- they are simply using the communication skills they know and asking for what they need.
We may not agree with them but sometimes we just have to understand and accept what we recognize as a part of their identity.