It is always the purpose of this journal to offer "food for thought" and perhaps a perspective that might not be the obvious. Sometimes I think that I portray things as "Coming up Roses" or shall we say more fluff and butterflies than the get down in the dirty grind of every day life with Autism. I apologize for anyone who might be losing faith in my blog because of this.
In defense of myself I will say that I do believe that anyone dealing with this disorder on a day by day basis needs all the optimism they can get. Also it is extremely easy to loose focus and literally forget that the person who has Autism CANNOT control so many of the things we as "typical " {I hate this label} human beings do. So I wish to shed as much light and hope and insight as I possibly can.
With all that being said;Today SUCKED! And there have been many other days like it . I try to take each incident and turn it into a learning experience most of the time with some success. However there are many times you try with everything you have and you just cannot figure out what happened and why!
There was a good part of the day that was basic and routine and for those hours and minutes you are thankful. It almost becomes something that is taken for granted until "Hiroshima" hits. Honestly as the years go by it does seem to be better; less incidence; more ability to handle a situation,but sometimes in the middle of a meltdown it seems like years pass and there is no way out and no solution to the problem. What I have discovered in our case is that the sooner you do not react or can
de-escalate the quicker "Norm" returns. {I will post a specific incidence in the next blog}
Although I believe you can educate yourself and arm yourself with many tools there is will always be situations that will make you scratch your head and wonder where the hell "that" came from --- and what the hell caused it -- further more how the hell you can ever avoid it again!
I think the main purpose of this particular piece is the acknowledgement Autism is down and dirty and it does not play fair. When you have a success you beam like a lighthouse guiding a ship in a storm but when that dragon rears its head and shoots fire there is an overwhelming survival instinct that takes over.Sometimes your are not very pretty and afterward you beat yourself up because you think you could have handled it more effectively.
Moreover I want to address the minute or hours of most everyday that turn our lives upside down. It is forever better to tell others of the good and positive. Honestly what I want accomplish with this excerpt is to truthfully let others know its not all roses. I never want anyone to think that I am not down in the trenches dealing with the same issues they are and certainly not that I have any miracle solutions.
Autism is a complex crazy disorder that not only cripples the individual who has it but affects everyone in that persons life.
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