Idle Chatter

I have found that the majority of my posts are usually triggered by incident.I think to improve this journal I need to posts more
"idle chatter" from my brain. After all this is a forum to offer creative solutions but also an opportunity to step up on my soapbox, too!

I recently had an exchange of ideas with a friend about how I "coddle" Dakota. Whether it be bad or good, accepted or not --my position is I don't care. I don't care what the "professionals", family, friends or strangers say.

My job on this earth is to do the best job I can to not only provide and fight for my son but to do whatever I can to provide him with memories that no one can ever take from him and to make them HAPPY.

A big lesson with Autism is that we do not live in an "Ozzie and Harriet" society.Everyone has "warts" and most everyone has issues. It is our job as individuals as well as a society to look past others who are human beings too and allow them to live their life the way they want. That's not to say that we shouldn't help support those who need or ask for our help but what I am saying is we need to worry less about what goes on in the house next door and worry more about how we want our lives to be-- AND NOT WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK.

Perhaps this seems to be rambling;I think I an speaking of one of my biggest pet-peeves which is people who are judgmental.Too many are to concerned what others are doing or how they are doing it. Too many look at someone and how they are dressed or what kind of car they drive and pass judgement/ Too many see what they think to be an unruly kid and blurt out stupid comments like "Oh he just needs a good spanking" when a thousand spankings are not going to help a behavior of an autistic child. Too many see homeless people on the street and cannot even make eye contact with them.They are a human beings who are not as fortunate as we are to have a place to go and a bed to sleep in. Perhaps there are some who choose to live on the streets,however I cannot imagine anyone who conscientiously made a choice to not have a home. The bigger point is if that's what they choose then who an I to say differently.

Everyday it becomes more and more apparent,to me, that we are living in a "covetous" society. Everyone is trying "to keep up with the Jones" . Flashier car, Bigger House, fancier furniture, a boat, Quads,an RV,Better landscaping and outdoor grill and patio stuff etc. Parents are working 2 and 3 jobs leaving their kids at home to fend for themselves just to pay for all this crap FOR WHAT END RESULT? So our kids can have it better than we did? What good does that do if they never see their parents and all they ever expect is an I-pod, an I-phone, Nike's, or whatever the imagination can conjure up? Here's the irony-- those are usually the people who are "judging" you about how you handle a situation out in public? Perhaps I just showed my judgmental side--See we all can fall into this trap.

We need to LIVE--and let live, If someone needs to have a clean house and someone else doesn't then its their choice . If someone needs to work 3 jobs and someone else cant find a job or doesn't want to work then that their choice. And short of witnessing child abuse. when someone has a child acting out we need allow them to handle it the way they see fit. Often times I find myself walking up to the dis-shoveled parent and saying I am sorry you are having this trouble but I want you to know I have a child with Autism and I would be thrilled if they were doing something typical like yours is doing right now-- every time it has been well received and often takes the edge off of the behavior and the parent.

I don't have any answers for anyone else. I only know what works in our house and life. I only write about this "idle chatter" in my head to offer a thought that perhaps had not crossed your mind!