If there's one piece of advice I could give someone starting out on this journey is never focus too hard on one task with our kids. Always give each accomplishment resounding accolades but know that as soon as they finish that there another one waiting around the corner.
Autism is not for sissy's---it is something that keeps coming and you have to be resilient; you cannot give up, let you guard down or wither away.First its early intervention and dealing with the diagnosis ,then its school districts, therapies and support, finally as all of that comes to an end you then have to formulate a plan for the rest of their lives. Whew
It wears me out just thinking about it. Well I am there and still at odds of exactly what to do.
The school district seems to be of the opinion that they have done everything they can and they gracefully give most of our kids a "Certificate of Completion" and send them on their way to spend the rest of their lives working in a warehouse, out of the public eye quietly tucked away doing piece work with many others who don't even have the same diagnosis, traits or behaviors. I know my job as a Mom is to also support and teach my son at home but it really chaps my hide when he can barely sign his name legibly, has not been mainstreamed properly to adjust him socially and is usually in a classroom that does its best to teach but has teachers that are constantly taken away from class for IEP's during class hours and training that should be done when it does not interfere with the little bit of teaching that is available to these kids.
Now the question that they pose is "what do you want him to do when he gets out of school?" They call this "transitioning" and it is supposed to start somewhere when the child is about 14 . Mostly the adults set "lofty " goals that are just something to write down to satisfy the IEP and even if you have serious requests or goals most of the time at the end of the year you don't see much in the way of progress. Or the teacher or class has no way of accommodating your request and it falls back on you.
Then when you get to the final year or so they start to pressure you. They are telling you that your child should work and that he needs to experience independence when in fact they dropped the ball on all of that years ago.
Look I am not trying to push it all off on the school district, I accept some of the responsibility but for years I have tried repeatedly to impress on them what needed to be done and it just wasn't. I mean when a typical set of parents send a typical child to school there is a typical expectation that when high school ends and they graduate that their child will be reasonably prepared to at least have a repertoire of abilities to perform in the community-- like getting a job or being able to have a bank account or possibly live on their own.That is NOT happening for most students in Special ed-- Not just Dakota.
So we delve into the next chapter---What comes next?
These children literally fall off the radar once they are out of school -- It is either function well enough for the "typical" community or resolve yourself to the world of the disabled--- There is no happy medium there is no compromise. Its very frustrating. Our kids are so unique they do not fit in either world . what happens is they usually end up going with "challenged " kids and people because there is so little accommodation for them in the "typical"community.
My personal goal is to create a compilation of experiences to mold to Dakotas needs. I really cant say I know what he wants but I know what he responds to and what he succeeds at so these are the guides I will use.
What I am doing is exploring volunteering opportunities form a number of reasons but mostly because it is something that allows Dakota to get out in to the "regular" community. It is very rare that you will be turned down when you volunteer and there is always something your child can do. Additionally I am trying to tap into the local parks and recreation for classes that can be enjoyed by all people like an exercise class or a planned community field trip. And because all he had known since he was 3 is school we are going to add in some potential classes at a local junior college to establish continuity. Top it off with our own trips to the beach. the mountains or to Hollywood and I think we have got a relative plan.
Coming full circle to the beginning of this excerpt I never imagined that when Dakota started school that I would be faced with these types of decisions this far down the road. There are many kids that seem to respond to certain treatments and have managed to blend but there are many more who are just like Dakota who have wonderful qualities and abilities but mainstream America does not know how to accept it or embrace it So its our job to figure it out ---
Figure out "What Happens Next?????"
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