January has come and Dakota's High School career is done. He has experienced such great improvement in the past few years and developed some abilities that I was not sure he would ever develop. As this chapter comes to a close, it is a double edged sword. For the one side offers new and hopefully exciting changes and opportunities to move on into the rest of his future while the other side is filled with sadness to say goodbye and overwhelming anxiety to leave what is familiar!
From the time Dakota was 3 he was placed in school. It is really all he has ever known. Its something that he has patterned his life around and now he is struggling with "What comes next?" I have tried to re-enforce the idea that he can always take classes in College because you can never "age out" of college. People of all ages attend and it is also a place where young adults more his age will be, also! I am currently looking into a few options and intend to continue to do everything I can to develop his independence. I have also tried to impress upon him that by leaving school he will now be less restricted to do other things he would like to do--Like go to the beach on a Tuesday or bowling in the middle of the day. He seems accepting of these thoughts yet apprehensive for the change---that's the anxiety!
What he seems to be missing the most is the social aspect of school. Ironic that several years ago I wasn't sure he would ever bond to any person: now I see several people he has developed feelings for. Although the relationships are far from what most call "normal" I as a parent can see marked improvements in the simple idea of what Dakota thinks of as a "friend"! He gets smitten around those whom he is attached too often to the point of shyness and embarrassment. He will carry on small conversaton but still relies on the other person to "carry" the exchange. As far as the phone its "a hello" and then hand the phone to Mom then his conversation is vicariously through me. Although he very rarely speaks on the phone he will never leave my side if I am speaking to "his friend". And many of his attachments have been with other adults on campus like the groundskeepers, security or the cafeteria staff.I think that is because they are more pro-active to engage him.
So leaving school will put a big hole in his social advancement and I must press on with other opportunities to keep him flourishing in that arena.
One of the bigger issues was the actual finality of exiting school, especially mid-year. We had already made arrangements for Dakota to participate in the traditional senior activities; senior breakfast, senior luau, prom and graduation. What I had to do for the "mid-year" exit was create an atmosphere of positive re-enforcer's to make it "OK" for Dakota to leave his class and teacher. Here's what worked for him:
The teacher and I sat down and created an "Certificate of Advancement" declaring him he had successful completed school and it was a step to move into the future and his young adult life. We made it on a special paper that was like a scroll and we had the teacher and instructional assistants sign and date it along with a gold seal. We also had a small party with a beautiful cake that had a graduate sprawled out on a book and the caption read :"Look out World - Here comes Dakota" We also invited all the people who meant something to Dakota like other teachers whose class es he attended ,other instructional aides who had some involvement with him and any other staff that knew Dakota.
Although at the beginning of the day started off with resistance, quite a bit of resistance I was able to work around his insistence to NOT GO to SCHOOL and eventually convince him that it was OK and he would enjoy, remember and hopefully cherish the memories later.
The end result was fun and great pictures that will be placed in his yearbook !
I only hope that my boy knows how proud I am of him and how much he means to me -- I will go to the ends of the earth to make his world right!
No comments:
Post a Comment