MOTHERHOOD????

OK ,MY MOTHER, WHOM I HAVE A TULMULTUOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH; HOLDS ME TO A GOLD STANDARD WHEN IT COMES TO BEING RESPONSBLE FOR MY CHILD.i MEAN THAT ALTHOUGH SHE IS EXTREMELY INVOLVED IN HELPING RAISE MY SON SHE STILL EXPECTS ME TO BEAR THE BRUNT OF TAKING CARE OF HIM AND SHE CUTS ME NO SLACK WHEN IT COMES TO  ME HAVING ANY PERSONAL TIME. ITS THE "OLD FASHION" TRAINOF THOUGHT. IN HER EXACT WORDS, PEOPLE, WOMEN IN PARTICULAR, DONT THINK ABOUT THE HEARTACHE OR THE HEADACHES OF CHILD -REARING WHEN THEY; EXCUSE THE EXPRESSION BUT THESE ARE HER WORDS NOT MINE AND SHE IS  78; SPREAD THEIR LEGS AND MAKE BABIES!-GROSS AS IT SOUNDS SHE IS DIE-HARD ON PAY-DIRT. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR ANY PERSONAL TIME WHEN YOU HAVE A KID AND MOST ASSUREDLY WHEN YOU HAVE A CHALLENGED CHILD --WELL FORGET EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT.

YES I ADMIT I REALLY NEED TO  INVEST SOMETIME INTO FINDING SOMEONE WHO CAN KEEP DAKOTA COMPANY SO I CAN HAVE SOME TIME OUT BUT IT IS SUCH A FUNNY SITUATION TO BE IN WHEN YOU HAVE A PERSON SO INVOLVED IN EVERY ASPECT OF RAISING YOUR KID THEN TO HAVE THAT SAME PERSON  CONTROL YOUR INABILITY TO DO  ANYTHING ELSE??? DO I SOUND CRAZY???? I THINK I KINDA AM!

ALL I GOTTA SAY IS SINCE WE HAVE BEEN GOING THRU THIS BROKEN LEG FISACO       I AM ON MY LAST NERVE OF MOTHERHOOD! NEVER, NEVER IN MY WIDEST DREAMS COULD I HAVE EVER ANTICIPATED THIS KIND OF RESPOSIBILITY.EACH AND EVERY DAY IS COMPLETELY FILLED WITH THINGS I HAVE TO DO AND JUST WHEN I THINK I CAN SIT DOWN OR GET A BREATH SOMETHING ELSE POPS UP.. I DONT WANT TO COME OFF AS A COMPLAINER BUT I AM IN AMAZEMENT AT HOW MUCH THERE IS TO DO!  EVERY HOUR  HAS ANOTHER ASSIGNMENT AND SINCE HE IS STILL BED -BOUND IF I AM NOT DOING SOME TASK I AM KEEPING HIM COMPANY OR ENTERTAINED.  I AM JUST EXHUASTED AND I JUST DONT SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL.

I HAVE NEVER FELT OLD AND HAVE ALWAYS SAID THAT AGE IS A FRAME OF MIND BUT THE EXPIERENCE COUPLED WITH SOME OTHER FACTORS RE STARTING TO MAKE ME QUESTION MY ABILITY TO KEEP UP. OH NEVER FEAR I AM RELENTLESS AND WILL NEVER GIVE UP BUT AT THIS SPECIFIC PLACE AND TIME I AM IN A SLUMP.      PERHAPS VENTING HERE WILL HELP  AND CAN SAY ALREADY I AM STARTING TO FEEL A LITTLE LIGHTER.

I THINK THIS INCIDENT ALONG WITH OTHER PROJECTS AROUND THE HOUSE HAS JUST OVERWHELMED ME . AND THIS TO SHALL PASS   I THINK THE TRICK IS TO KEEP PLUGGING ALONG--BEING THE TURTLE NOT THE RABBIT!!!