A Big Dash of FAITH

There isn't a day... or a night that does not go by that I dont think about Dakota's future, Once I am no longer here to orchestrate it...I also know that I am NOT the only one who has or will struggle with this issue.

Again and not to sound like a broken record BUT I know that Dakota has so much to offer as long as there is someone who will take the time to recognize it and my greatest fear is that he will just be medicated and left to "rot in a corner" because there will be NO ONE who will have any special tie to him...He is after all a person with no relatives and will be at the mercy of caregivers. As much as I like to believe its all good out there and there are loving and caring people who will surround him ; the pessimistic side of me thinks differently. How can you invest your whole life to providing a qualtiy of life for a child, a person your created only to know that when you are gone,not only do you not have any control over it but worse that your biggest fear has come to fruition.

You can plan and plot and pick people to carry on but again how do you know that it will all work out?????? YOU CANT. So I guess this has to come to a poit where you have to LET IT BE.

One of the Moms I met years ago, who is also one of my biggest teacher/mentors said that she had come to the conclusion that as long as her son ot his basic needs met even if it was by a stranger she thinks he will never even miss her.. I have to hope that maybe she is right . But when you have a kid that wants and expects you to lay down with him every night so he can go to sleep -----who will be there to do that for him????     N O     O N E .

My heart aches to think how radically his life will change when I am no longer here to arrange, fix and provide. He has enough to deal with just with the disorder .....
Unfortunately I have no real answer of solution...Many I have met and discussed this with have lots of different views but none of us have a solution. I sit here and cry as I write this  because it is truly helplessness ...

We as parents and caregivers have to do the best we can to "road map" our kids and their routines, schedules wants, needs and preferences and put our trust in those that come after us to love our kids enough to make their life as pleasant as possible .
One thing I have done is to start documanting as much as I can about our daily lives in a binder and also files in the computer so at least there is a working template of where to begin and finally we have to season it with a big dash of faith . Faith that our wishes and our childs life wont be anymore difficult that it has to be.