I am starting to understand more clearly why they signify Autism with puzzle pieces. It seems that your are always trying to figure out what is causing a behavior or emotion! Hence putting the puzzle together.
Its funny as I reflect on this time last year we were having pretty extreme behavior several times a week and I was at my wits end to decifer the cause. Although he is still exhibiting some of this behavior for the most part it seems to have subsided tremendously. What seems to replace that, is another emotional component. He is having bouts of extreme depression that brings on sobbing and the inability to express why he is feeling this way.
As a Mother {or a parent for that matter} it tears your heart out to see your child struggle with emotion that cant be explained. And, with Autism this is rare, in and of itself because typically Autism is pretty much void of feeling or emotion. So it is double edged --- In one way you hate to see the child depressed and crying still theres another very small part of you that thinks that at least it is a typical behavior. Yet, one you really dont want your child to experience.
The crux of this dilemma is a bit more complicated--When I analyze the trigger for this behavior it seems to happen when something is ending or coming to an end--If he goes to his fathers it occurs on the day he is coming back, when hes watching a film or live theater it happens at the end of the production or even when he has a class that goes for days or weeks when it is time for it to end; that is when the emotion displays itself---{I believe this is separation anxiety} The biggest problem, is that endings are a part of everyday living and you cannot control nor sheild ANY child from this. Try to explain to a typical kid and eventually they understand -- for an Autistic kid, they may never get it---
THAT TEARS ME UP!
The other component is that a pyschologist or pyschaitrist may be able to help for most people . In case of an Autisitic indivdual what can they do other than shove medication down their throats??? Dont get me wrong I beleieve that meds have their place and benefits, I just have a problem with medicating someone { with pyschotropic drugs} who is not conversational and/or unable to express they pain they are feeling. In other words how can you expect and Autistic individual to lay on the couch and pour his guts out when they sometimes barely express basic needs or wants?
It is quite a dilemma in my mind-- I want my child to have peace of mind and to be as mentally healthy as possible, yet I dont trust that medication is the only or absolute way to do that.
Guess that where I segue back to the "puzzle". There simple ones that get put together rather quickly; others are the 1000 piece take forever to assemble.
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