You never know when "it's" coming

It being behavior, meltdown, blow out, freak out, flip out. I guess that just about sums up the names you want to give--IT!

Just hours before we had our "E ticket" ride I was talking to someone about how unpredictable this damn Autism is! That as a caregiver of someone you love, you want to celebrate success and acknowledge personal growth. You want to breathe just a little easier with each hour or day that goes by and you have had either a calm day or a day where you see some control or self monitoring.But it is the element of the unknown and unpredictable that slams you back to earth when you have one of those moments when "it" happens .

Most of all people who have some involvement but no personal experience or knowledge who observe your "little angel" for a small amount of time and make snap judgements on what they see-- KNOW NOTHING -- HAVE NO CLUE -- AND PROBABLY WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND!
They see a person who seems to be relatively under control and manageable and cannot comprehend why caring for someone who has the stupid disorder is such a challenge
That's probably because they are not there when "IT" happens!

Well we just had our quota for awhile!We had a routine errand to run and everything went textbook till we hit the half way mark--Dak had gone with grandma into the Post Office. Somewhere something went terribly wrong. I have tried to cut the apron strings and allow him some independence so I was in the car all of a sudden I look up and Grandma is on the landing and Dakota has her in a head lock! Needless to say I jumped out and intervened--got them separated mostly with verbal cues. When Dak came down the stairs I directed him to the car. That's when it really went sideways--he got this dark look in his eyes and shook his head just slightly and headed down the street to the intersection00 which by the way is a major {3 lanes each way}intersection and it was at the height of the day -- extremely busy. Panic over came me but my internal dialogue said "OK" " think" "Keep cool" I thought in "dog Logic"
If I chase him the faster I go the faster he will go so I have to be calm and somewhat unresponsive to this behavior. He was fast approaching the signal and I was not sure he would stop or pay attention to the lights. I started to talk to him about the cars and the traffic and asked him to wait for me-- it wasn't too effective but I knew he was listening I just wasn't sure if he would in fact adhere to my request. He got to the corner and sorta stopped to survey the landscape and decide exactly where he was going to go ---about this time a guy on a bike was coming from behind him and I rose my voice and directed him to watch out for the bicycle---he reacted --I knew then he was at least responding to my statements . About that time the crosswalk signal went off and he bobbed toward the street but I redirected him to the cars that were turning and again he responded to my words. I was encouraged and gaining some confidence that I may be able to conquer this situation. He then made another gesture like he was going to cross the street and I knew there were approaching cars and he was too far away to grab him so I prepared myself to step out into the street in front of him --if necessary to avert the cars from hitting him. At the very moment for some reason he stopped and waited for me to get to the corner and actually took my hand and directed me around the corner. We continued around the corner and he escalated again and got me around the neck about half way back to the car. He asked me if I was OK and I told him I would be OK when he got over this and came back to me--- We spent a few more minutes going back and forth with this conversations and then as quick as "It" came-- "It" went!

We managed to get back in the car and complete the day without further incident. Once we were at home a little time came by and there was conversation about the incident Dakota emerged with a remorseful statement " I cant put my arm around grammys neck cuz I can hurt her!" It wasn't exactly an apology but it was awareness . It was conceptual thinking so you take it for what it is---the kind of apology Dakota was able to give. Another lesson learned; another tool in your tool belt!