BLOWING OFF STEAM!!!!!

IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE THAT IS AS PISSED OFF AS I AM ABOUT THIS DISCONTINUANCE OF PARENTAL RESPITE???????I GOT A "PROVIDER SERVICES" "FORM"TODAY WHICH BASICALLY DISCONTINUED MY PARENTAL VOUCHERED RESPITE SO IT COULD BE "AUTHORIZED " FOR AGENCY RESPITE AND I WAS OK WITH IT UNTIL I GOT TO THE BOTTOM AND IT SAID  CLIENT DECISION TO DISCONTINUE---WELL I BLEW IT I GOT ON THE PHONE TO IRC.I FIRST ASKED TO SPEAK TO THE "RESPITE" PEOPLE  WHICH WAS A MISTAKE BECAUSE THE RESPONSE WAS "WELL ITS JUST A FORM LETTER FOR YOUR RECORDS ITS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT!"I FLIPPED ON THIS LADY AND I RESPONDED "THIS IS A FALSE STATEMENT ON A DOUCMENT AND I DONT ACCEPT IT ""I DID NOT MAKE A DECISIN TO DISCONTINUE SERVICES I WAS FORCED TO CHANGE OR LOOSE MY RESPITE AND THIS DOCUMENT IS A STATE AUTHORIZED DOCUMENT AND IT IS FALSE!"SHE SAID"WELL YOU NEED TO GO BACK TO YOUR CASE WORKER BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT WE WERE TOLD TO PUT ON THAT FORM " MY RESPONSE WAS "MY CASE WORKER WASNT THE ONE WHO TOLD YOU TO PUT THAT ON THE BOTTOM IT WAS THE ADMINISTATION SO MAYBE I NEED TO TALK TO MARY LYNN CLARK?"SHE SAID "WELL YOU CAN DO THAT "

SO I CALLED THE DIRECTORS OFFICE AND WHAT A SURPRIZE SHE WAS OUT OF THE OFFICE THIS WEEK WHICH IS WHAT I WAS TOLD THE LAST TIME I CALLED HER OFFICE A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO --AND OF COURSE I GOT NOWHERE WITH HER ASSISTANT SO SHE RECOMMENDED I TALK TO CANDY AT TRANSITION SERVICES.I HAVE TO SAY THIS LADY WAS THE FIRST ONE I HAVE SPOKEN TO IN THE PASSED 3 MONTHS THAT WAS AT LEAST ABLE TO ACCEPT MY ANGER BUT ALSO GAVE ME INFORMATION NO ONE ELSE HAS DONE. ALTHOUGH IT WAS NOT MUCH ADDITIONAL INFORMATION AT LEAST SHE OFFERED TO CHECK INTO THE FORM LETTER AND GET BACK TO ME AND ALSO TOLD ME THAT I CAN APPLY FOR ESSENTAILLY A "STAY PUT" ORDER SO I CAN CONTINUE TO GET THE PARENTAL VOUCHERED RESPITE UNTIL I GO THROUGH THE HEARING PROCESS.

SHE SAID SHE WAS SURPRIZED THAT I HAD NOT GOTTEN ANY RESPONSE FROM OTHERS AT THE CENTER BECAUSE "THEY WERE REALLY GOOD AT ACKNOWLEDGING CORRESPONDENCE" I TOLD HER THAT I HAD SENT 4 LETTERS TO THE CENTER TO 3 DIFFERENT PEOPLE MARY LYNN CLARK , CORINA DE LEON, AND REN MOODIE AND I HAVENT RECIEVED AS MUCH AS AN ACKNOWLEDEMENT OF ANY OF MY LETTERS AND TO TOP IT OFF THE 4TH LETTER WAS SPECIALLY ABOUT NOT RECEIVING ANYTHING ABOUT ANY OF MY LETTERS--WHICH I THINK IS UNPROFESSIONAL AT BEST!

SO WHY AM I PISSED OFF??? AGAIN AN AGENCY THAT EXSISTS MERELY BECAUSE THERE ARE CHALLENGED KIDS IN THE WORLD AND THEIR JOB IS TO HELP US AND MAKE THINGS EASIER ...WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I AM BEATING MY HEAD AGAINST A BRICK WITH SOMEONE WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE ALLIGNED WITH ME?

ON MONDAY I GO TO THE FIRST INFORMAL MEETING : I HOPE THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO PLEAD MY CASE {AND MANY OTHERS} AND MAKE HEAD WAY ON THIS ISSUE. THE SAD THING ABOUT THIS IS THAT I UNDERSTAND THAT THERE ARE PARENTS WHO ARE ACTUALLY GIVING UP THEIR RESPITE RATHER THAN CONVERT TO AGENCY RESPITE. ONE CAN ONLY WONDER IF THIS WAS ALL PART OF THE MASTER PLAN TO MAKE MONETARY GAINS TO THE INFAMOUS BUDGET OF CALIFORNIA---ARNOLD--CARE TO RESPOND???? WHAT IS IT WITH THE DEPARTMENT OF DISABILITY SERVICES THAT MAKES THEM WANT TO MAKE OUR LIVES JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE COMPLICATED AND PROBLEMATIC BY "FORCING " US TO A NO CHOICE AGENCY RESPITE? 

OK I AM GETTING WOUND TIGHTER AS I WRITE THIS INSTEAD OF DEFUSING MYSELF SO FOR NOW I WILL STOP AND PONDER.