The one thing I have said all along is that Dakota will always have memories and NO ONE can take that away from him...I have a tiny bit of guilt more often than I would like to admit that I could always do more for him.
I do my best but I have always been one to second guess my efforts.. In other words I am my worst critic,,,perhaps that's how all of us are it just seems to be magnified when it comes to a child that literally depends on you for pretty much everything...
I look around and see many kids some challenged some not and I am always thinking I could do that or should I have done this???? Well so an so did this maybe I will too....On the flip side I also see so many kids that have parents that pretty much don't give a rip...So There is no easy answer...never have been one to follow , always been one to march to the beat of A different drummer just want my boy to have the best life he can...
I truly believe that you cannot be happy with anyone else until you are happy with yourself AND you cannot compare yourself to anyone else ....It never stops the guilt from creeping in occasionally.
More importantly when my time comes to leave this earth I can only hope that Dakota is happy and filled with memories to last his lifetime AND that somewhere out there there is someone who will carry on taking care of my baby and give him a few more memories .
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