The Prom has come and gone at Dakotas high school and once again I have been unsuccessful to get him to attend---Although a little part of me hurts I know it is his desire and his choice.
At the top of this post I will say this: My 22 + years on this journey of Autism have taught at least one thing
I can only present the opportunity to him---It is up to him whether he acts on it!
I had such "grand plans" in my head how I was going to make this Prom his "Swan Song"--I was going to cut the apron strings and construct a support system to get Dakota to the Prom WITHOUT MOM!
I had figured every detail--- called the school got permission for a "personal assistant" to shadow him; talked to a couple of friends some disabled and high functioning and Best Buddies to go with him; figured out transportation; had my sights on a suit E V E R Y T H I N G
and it was all blown to hell when Dakota emphatically told me he was "through with school" "I'm finished, I'm done and I am not going back-- I cant go back!"
My heart broke because it was said with sadness and hurt. He has had a terrible time with exiting school and after all the kid has been in school since he was 3 --so he knows nothing else.
I have to admit I surveyed my own feelings and had to ask if I wanted him to go more for me than for himself. At that point I decided I wasn't sure but I would rather error on the side of Dakota's contentment than trying to push his limits on something that did not appear to be important to him.
So the Prom has come and gone
Now on to the last of the senior activities.
There is a luau, breakfast and graduation all coming toward the end of May. So I will reload and try again--
Graduation being the "creme de la creme"== I have already started on Grad Night and am hoping that since its at Disneyland that I will be able to get him to go with his peers. If he walks down the aisle for graduation and goes to Grad Night it will be a night of celebration---
Then its on to the community -- Thank God there is no time limit to the rest of his life-- he can go on and flourish in an environment that suits him!
1 comment:
I'm so happy for you and Dakota. It sounds like Dakota cut the strings himself in his way. Wow! While he didn't do it in the way of proms etc., he was able to change a route which I’m sure is extremely difficult for him. What an exciting mile-stone! He's all grown up and sowing his own. You must be so very proud of him. I can’t believe he’s 22 already! I have some parents that had similar problem with getting to celebrate that right of passage, so the whole family got very dressed up and went out to their favorite restaurant, celebrated, & took pictures. We decided to do the same thing for my step-son. He doesn’t want to attend Grad-Night, which I think is crazy, so we are going to do a family night out to celebrate. Thanks for letting us all read your blogs. It really helps me to get much more incite to what families have to deal with on a regular basis. Plus it’s a way to keep up with my cus. I love you all and want to say congrads to the grad!
Love and peace, Little Lil
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