Opportunities

Opportunity-- its a positive word and probably not one that those of us travel down the road of Autism think about much. Rather the thoughts are more about the lack of opportunities for foer children plague us at every corner and what we can do as parents caregivers or advocates to reverse this treand. As our children grow older that become more noticeable as "different" and no longer "blend-in" as they did when they were small children.

Every move you make you attempt to get optimum useage of opportunities whether it is the classroom or in other social settings---We practically break our backs to beg cheat lie and steal to convince others that our kids have a right and deserve to experience things just like "typical " children . Many are receptive to our lament but sometimes it takes an Act of Congress to achieve sucess.

All of that being said another conclusion I have come to is that we have to also realize that despite the Autism our kids are still people; individuals human beings that have their own needs wants and desires.Knowing I am probably not the only one who has recognized this ;the situation poses a whole new situation,one that is very difficult for me and I am sure probably for most parents and others who care for our children. What I find myself doing is trying to get my son involved in things that I participated in High School--- different clubs ,going to ball games. attending pep rallies and concerts, being involved in student body or special dances----- I want Dakota to have the "High School " experience but then I have to sytop and say what is that??? Not everybody was like me when I went to school there were all kinds of kids that had different interests and were involved at different levels AND I HAVE A HARD TIME REMEMBERING THAT!

I have to take a step back and let HIM do the choosing. Once again just because hes Autistic doesnt mean that he cant think for himself or express a desire to do or not do something. I have felt a huge amount of frustration in the past when I have "preped" him for an event and the time comes to go or do and all of a sudden he "stonewalls"me and then I get pissed and NOBOBY is happy. It has taken me a couple of years and a few encounters to to come to the conclusion that all I can do is present an OPPORTUNITY to Dakota and it is up to him whether he decided to take it !

It seems like a simple thing but I can tell you that many of us have gone thru numerous situations trying to get our children to do things that they simply do not want to do ---OFTEN TIMES the best solution is just to let them express their choice and believe me sometimes it is not verbally but they can always tell you when they do not want to do something!