Twisting the Hair

This topic is enough to drive me to "the nut house" perhaps Camarillo although I am told they are no longer accepting patients or worse yet Patton. One good thing about Patton is it is close to the San Manuel Casino so I might be able to qualify for a "day pass" as a diversion!Wow how did I get to this point?

Twisting the hair --just the mention of this subject irritates me . Since Dakota broke his leg over 2 years ago we have had a problem with him twisting his hair. I know this is a fairly common "tick" or "stim" for Autistic individuals. I understand that it is an "avenue for expression" that their words can not express HOWEVER this one is getting the best of me.

When Dakota injured his leg he started twisting his hair, I believe, as a way to help him cope with the pain-- he was extremely limited in his ability to express pain. I tried to be on top of the medication to make sure he didn't hurt needlessly however he would very rarely muster the words "momma my leg hurts". As the days progressed I started noticing that he was twisting his hair but I didn't intervene as I felt he needed a way to offset his frustration and pain--what I discovered in a matter of a few days is that he wasn't just twisting the hair he was literally pulling it out by the roots. Having a high tolerance for pain as most of our kids do this is not uncommon and seems to be almost like a natural reaction to soothe the static in their heads. Before the re cooperation period was over he had 2 spots both at least 2 inches in diameter completely bald---My heart was sick but I knew it was necessary at the time

What has transpired since is what is driving me nuts. He has continues with this behavior even though the pain had gone----It has now become a habit like biting of the nails,or chewing, or hand flapping--all forms of stimming  and pardon the expression but a    Bitch to "interrupt and re-direct"{strategy used in Autism}Of course Dakota is quite aware of how much it bugs me and often times now taunts me with this behavior which doesn't help me in trying to control my behavior to "flip out!"

I have tried numerous "tricks" to try to stop the Twisting but have yet to succeed.The first was verbal prompts, reward system doesn't work for him,I have tried to reason with him-- yeah that was a good one -- I even tried to show him the commercials on TV about the men who have lost their hair and are begging and pleading to have their hair restored,I have stood him in the mirror and explained to him what he is doing and that he looks like a man in his mid life who is loosing his hair, I have played the "girl" card -- they wont want to look at a boy who is bald, I have threatened to shave it all off-- he laughs at me , I have even had our hairdresser talk to him firmly about what he is doing to his hair-- And surprise nothing has worked 

The funny thing about it is we had a period where he slowed down and we restored one of the areas behind the ear and the one on the front part of his head has made some progress--Just as we were almost restored in the front he has started up again-- So I talked to him --asked him if he was hurting -- particularly his leg, foot or toes as he has gone through several other procedures over the course of the past few years and I was open to the possibility that he was displacing his pain with this behavior. Everytime he would say he was ok -- I would try to open a dialogue about why he would twist his hair and all he could do is either withdraw or taunt by looking right at me a twisting another strand or 2 of hair--MAN DOES THAT GET TO ME! I have explained to him how lucky he is to have a full head of beautiful curly hair but it just doesn't affect him........

So here's where we are at right now-- I started using SuperNanny's rules  When I observe him twisting his hair I ask him to please stop twisting his hair TWO TIMES after the second request if he continues to twist I retrieve the jar of Vaseline and place a glop of goop in the areas he is twisting-- he stops. At least for a prolonged period of time. Because our kids are "tackle sensitive" this works .He cannot stand the feel of the goop so he stops. This is not perfect because if it is a particularly stressful day or the stimming is running high that day after a couple of hours the Vaseline will dissipate and he will start to touch it again-- so I have to pick and choose when to use this strategy. I must admit it isn't the best thing if you are going out in public, I talked to our hairdresser and he said the Vaseline is not harming the hair and is actually good for it but visually it kinda sucks.What I try to do is comb it thru his hair if we are going out so he looks like a guy from the fifties and sometimes I use Alberto Vo5 or Brylcream which is specifically a hair product. 

He has started growing more comfortable with touching the hair with the goop in it so I have also discovered that putting a small glop of Baby shampoo also does the trick---I know he will stop when he replaces it with another "stim" but I will continue to battle this one--- A saying in the Autism community is "pick your battles" and this is one I will go down fighting- I guess because it borders "self-injurious" behavior and it affects his apperance.Many parents have expressed that its hard enough when your child behaviors get in the way of them blending into the community it is imperative to aid them anyway you can to keep them from standing out-- simply because you just want your kid to experience life the way most kids do!