Again I find myself behind or at least feeling guilty for not writing the past few weeks-- I think I am overwhelmed and actually do not want to admit it. Schedules and routines are changing and it is not for the better in my case. Its funny how you acclamate yourself to the rigid behavior of your child and when they change, you are the one who really bears the brunt of the change... It almost makes you feel like you are the one who is Autistic.
I dont know what is happening but Dakota has started up with behavior that I have seen before but thought we had conquered it....Thankfully for the most part it has not been severe. There were a few incidents that were intense but I think whats bothering me the most is the frequency..Everyday this past week in particular there has been something.
Theres an old saying with Autism and that is "be careful what you wish for" --- meaning when you are anxious to get rid of one behavior they have sometimes the replacement behavior is worse. It makes you cautious and especially as we are nearing our 26 year down this path I am at a point where it is not that damn important that I push my adgenda ;I just want as much peace as possble.
Many might say that I am an enabler and thats Ok with me..... I really dont care thats one thing that living with Autism has brought me;a sense of not having to answer to anyone else about what I feel is right for us in this house.I realize the importance of attempting to "mold" Dakota into a person who can blend into society but the simple fact is that he as well as most Autistic indivduals even the highest functioning ones will always stick out one way or another. At this point it is more about educating those that ARE NOT autistic how to accept and embrace these individulas into the community. {I know this is a common theme in my posts}
I will close with this.. I have so much swirling around my head all the time and so much I still want to write about its more about finding the time to sit in front of this computer and composing. Stay Tuned
